The Entity's Revenge?
by red mage1
Summary: Characters from Chrono Trigger are forced to live together in a strange reality show that is a cross between Survivor and Big Brother.
1. Prologue: The Casting

Chrono Trigger and all characters in this story, unless otherwise mentioned, are property of Squaresoft, Inc. Jimmy, the sustitute Entity, is property of me, Red Mage. This is my first fanfic I bothered to publish yet, so reviews are welcome. If you didn't like it, at least tell why.  
  
  
A. D. 2101  
  
Jimmy really was excited about his newfound powers . His uncle, the Entity, left him in charge of the space-time continuum while he was off on a business meeting with the Narrator and the DM. Jimmy certainly was ready to wreck havoc on the very fabric of the universe, but first he was going to vegetate in front of his uncle's twenty-foot-wide TV screen.  
  
Jimmy turned on the TV and switched it to the channel his favorite anime was supposed to be on. However, in its place was some stupid reality show about people living together. Disgusted, he turned the TV to station that had another good anime on. This, too, was replaced by a reality show that was clearly ripped off the first one. For a moment, Jimmy considered going back in time and killing the ancestors of the people who created reality shows. He could make a better reality show than this garbage.  
  
That's it! He could make his own reality show. "Yeah. I'll take..." Jimmy took a big drink of soda, then kept on blurting out ideas. "Take people...from different time periods... and... force them to live...in a specially created dome! Now that'll be some high-quality entertainment! But who to get..."  
  
Jimmy suddenly glanced down at a history book, opened to a page about that spikey-haired hero and his friends that saved the world from Lavos about a hundred years ago. They would do. Jimmy used his powers to bring his Poyozo doll collection to life. He then gave them magical attacks and the power to tunnel through time, and ordered them to capture Crono and his friends, plus a few more people on his list, and bring them back here. 


	2. Day 1: Welcome!

Crono opened his eyes and looked around at his new surroundings. It looked like a normal house from his time period, but also in the house were a bunch of other people: Lucca, Marle, Robo, Frog, Ayla, Magus, Melchior, Magus's cat Alfador, Schala, Tata, Ozzie, and a Nu. What in the world just happened to bring them all here? The last thing Crono remembered, he was sitting in his room when this Poyozo flew in through his open window and knocked him in the forehead. From what everyone else was muttering, they were thinking the same thing.  
  
Suddenly, a huge panel of wood from the wall slid into the floor, revealing a huge TV screen. The TV came on, and Timmy's face appeared. What was going on here?  
  
"How are you, gentlemen?" Jimmy began. He managed to stifle the urge to make a base-related comment. "I have brought all of you here to see which of you is most fit to survive. You must all live together in this specially built dome for four weeks. Every three days, one of you will be eliminated. You must vote among yourselves as to which one this will be."  
  
"Who do you think you are?" demanded Magus.  
  
"I am... the Entity," answered Jimmy.  
  
A sudden shock fell over the group. Jimmy smiled an evil smile, then his face disappeared from the screen. The people began talking among themselves. After Lucca and Robo together couldn't come up with an escape plan, Marle stood up on a chair and addressed the crowd.  
  
"If we're all going to live here for four weeks, we have to stick together!"  
  
Tata decided to add his brilliant commentary. "I'm hungry."  
  
Crono looked around the kitchen for food, but there wasn't any. He opened the front door, and stared straight out into a prehistoric jungle.  
  
"You mean we have to hunt our own food?!" complained Lucca.  
  
Frog, Ayla, and Marle volunteered to go hunting for food. After they left, everyone waited patiently for them to come back. Lucca decided to see if she could get her computer to work after she plugged it in, but it took those old computers from the 990s so long to boot up she wouldn't know for a day or two. Crono took to polishing his Rainbow sword, and Robo defragmented his hard drive. Magus, Schala, and Alfador were still celebrating their reunion. Tata ran around acting like an idiot and made funny noises while Ozzie set up booby traps all over the place.  
  
After a few hours, Frog, Ayla, and Marle returned with their kill for the group to feast on. Unfortunately, all they found in the way of food was a bunch of tiny frogs that lived in the forest, along with petals, fangs, horns, and feathers.  
  
"You expect this measly bit to fill us up?" asked Ozzie.  
  
"Complain not," said Frog. "This be all the food in yonder woods. Wouldst thou rather haveth nothing, Ozzie?"  
  
Ozzie mumbled something unintelligible, then sat down on the couch.  
  
Lucca used her Flare spell to cook the frogs. Afterwards, they were no longer frogs, but some strange black substance that vaguely resembled food. She made a mental note to tone it down next time. There was enough for everyone to have one charred lump, because Frog and Schala refused to eat one and had a nice salad of petals instead. After everyone managed to choke down supper, night started to fall and the TV screen came back on.  
  
"This is the Entity again. I will be announcing room assignments. All the bedrooms are upstairs. In Room 1 will be Marle and Crono. Room 2 will be occupied by Frog and Ayla. Room 3 now belongs to Alfador and Ozzie. Room 4, that's Lucca and Schala. Room 5 will be Tata and Magus. Room 6 will be shared by Robo and Melchior. The Nu gets no room, because I said so. Goodnight."  
  
Jimmy was going to enjoy tonight, he thought. He looked at the computer monitors hooked up to the hidden cameras planted in all of the bedrooms. With any luck, this program would go from PG straight to R tonight.  
  
Crono and Marle were each sleeping in separate beds, both of them tied down to their own bed. Apparently, they didn't trust themselves and were determined to keep this story from becoming a lemon. They were both sound asleep.  
  
Ayla's stomach growled as she lay awake in bed. How could that little lump of charred frog fill anyone up? That was barely an appetizer. Unable to help herself, Ayla kept eyeing Frog hungrily from her bed, while Frog lay sleeping lightly with the Masamune still clutched in his hands.  
  
Ozzie curled himself up in a little ball on his bed, scared to death of the cat Alfador. He was sure that purple feline had it in for him, just like that cat in his fortress did... Alfador, on the other had, paid no attention to the green freak in his room and curled up to sleep in the corner.  
  
Schala was exhausted, and tried to get to sleep, but Lucca kept the light on so she could read some science books. Why had she got put in the same room with Lucca? Had the Entity wanted them to...? Schala pulled a pillow over her head and decided not to think about it anymore.  
  
Magus and Tata were, suprsingly, both asleep. This was probably due to the fact that Magus told Tata if he made as much as one peep during the night, he'd turn him into a newt. Magus went to sleep quickly as well, at peace with the world now that his two goals in life were complete: destroy Lavos and find Schala. If only he could kill Ozzie...  
  
Robo and Melchior's room was much like Magus and Tata's room: both asleep. At least, Melchior was asleep. Robo was technically just in an inactive state where he recharged himself.  
  
The Nu, which everyone thought was asleep in the living room, silently planned his domination of the world, and thought how all these fools here couldn't stop him. 


	3. Day 2: The Next Day

The next morning, the thirteen gathered in the kitchen, starving and more than ready for breakfast. Crono was in charge of cooking, but he had nothing to work with but what was found during last night's hunt, and the frogs were long gone. He finally just made everyone bowls full of petals and called it salad.  
  
Marle's stomach was still growling after the salad. She decided to go hunting with Crono and Melchior this morning to find some decent food for lunch.  
  
Lucca checked on her computer, and it had finally booted up. In fact, she was even able to access a huge network called Guardia Online. She ran a search on this Entity fellow, and the computer said the results would show up in an hour or two. Lucca decided to pass the time by reading.  
  
Magus was minding his own business, walking into the living room, when suddenly a heavy weight fell from the ceiling. Magus leapt out of the way just in time. His face twisted itself into an expression of anger. "Ozzie! You filth!"  
  
Ozzie floated downstairs. He saw the weight and Magus standing beside it. "Oz...Ozzie's in a jam!"  
  
Magus rolled up his sleeves and pulled on his gloves. "You're quite right this time, my friend... I hope you're ready to face the Void!"  
  
Ozzie was ready to take the wizard on, when he suddenly saw Alfador walk out from behind Magus. Every bit of Ozzie's courage drained away as he looked in the cold eyes of the cute little kitty cat. Ozzie turned tail and floated as fast as he could toward his room and locked the door, just to be safe from the feline menace. Magus laughed, for one of the first times in his life, at the green coward.  
  
On the hunting trip, Crono, Marle, and Melchior were doing terribly, with a grand total of no food found. Suddenly, they heard a stirring in the bushes. Marle steadied her bow, Crono got his sword ready, and Melchior prepared to cast a magical spell. Then, out of the bushes popped a small yellow dinosaur. Before it could blink, it was hit with a lightning bolt by Melchior pierced with an arrow by Marle's bow. Crono looked down at three pounds of real, tasty meat that lay on the ground.  
  
Around noon, the hunting party returned. Lucca used a small Fire spell to cook the dino this time, and it turned a nice shade of golden brown. The meat was divided up between everyone except Schala (who was a vegetarian) and Ayla (who fell asleep a few minutes ago and nobody woke up.) Everyone had a nice, filling, quarter-pound of baked dinosaur before lunch was over.  
  
Happy and content from her meal, Lucca went to check on her computer. The results for the search on the Entity finally came up. The most interesting thing on the list was a page called "Entity's Home" and it was described as being the #1 site on the net for information on the Entity. Lucca clicked the link, then looked as the text box that said it would take five or six hours for the page to come up due to high graphical content.  
  
The hunting party for supper was made up of Magus, Schala, and Lucca. This party had no success at all. They had no idea how to track game at all. They did their best to find something, but all they were able to find was rocks and sticks. If this kept up, they would all go hungry tonight.  
  
Back at the house, Crono and Frog sparred to see which one of them was the better swordsman. Neither one could seem to land a blow. While there was no real point to this, Marle, Melchior, Ayla, and Tata all gathered around to watch. This was their only form of entertainment, and it wasn't like they had anything better to do.  
  
Finally, the hunting party returned. This time, they actually were empty-handed. Everyone started to get angry, and Magus prepared to cast Dark Matter on all the people that seemed to be ready to kill him. Marle finally yelled over everyone "Quiet! These people tried their best to find us something to eat! We can live with missing a meal every once in a while! Leave them alone!" Everyone kind of blinked, then wandered off.  
  
Lucca checked her computer. The webpage Entity's Home had finally come up. However, this was nothing but an introduction page that asked whether she wanted to view the frames or no frames version of Entity's Home. She clicked frames, then decided to turn in for the night.  
  
Back safe in his home, Jimmy watched the monitors closely. Something was bound to happen tonight. He knew it.  
  
Crono and Marle were both in their own separate beds again tonight. How dense could these two be? It wasn't supposed to happen like this at all. Jimmy was disappointed in them.  
  
Ayla lay awake in her bed, looking at Frog. He too was awake, polishing his Hero Medal in bed. Ayla was hungry. She hadn't eaten since breakfast. What she wouldn't do for food, she thought. She kept looking at Frog. He looked pretty tasty, even though he was her friend. "No eat Frog. Ayla's friend," thought Ayla. She tried to think about something else, but it didn't work. Finally, giving in, she got up on all fours on her bed, then pounced at Frog like a cat.  
  
"Yes!" yelled Jimmy. "We've got a winner here!"  
  
Ayla flew through the air at Frog, her mouth wide open. Frog wasn't paying attention, and Ayla's head slammed right into Frog's, knocking the two of them onto the floor. Both of the two lay prostrate on the ground for a few seconds, then Frog managed to stand up.  
  
"Lass! What art thou trying to do with me?!" yelled Frog.  
  
"Yummy frog! For Ayla eat!" yelled Ayla as she stood up.  
  
"Art thou mad with hunger, Ayla? Cease this foolishness at once!" commanded Frog.  
  
"Yummy frog. For Ayla eat," repeated Ayla.  
  
Suddenly, Ayla broke out at a run toward Frog. He knew he would lose at hand-to-hand combat against Ayla, so he quickly leaped out of the way. While Ayla was distracted for the moment crashing into the wall, Frog hopped as fast as he could over to the Masamune beside his bed. Maybe then, he could knock her out so he wouldn't have to resort to something more drastic.  
  
Before Frog could reach the Masamune, he saw Ayla airborne again. This time, her foot was aimed squarely at his head. Frog had no choice but to rely on his froggy skills again: he jumped as high in the air as he could. This made Ayla miss his head, but she still slammed straight into his chest. Unfortunatly for both of them, Ayla's momentum propelled them both into the wall, knocking both fighters out cold. They collapsed in a pile on the ground, Frog on top of Ayla.  
  
Ozzie had made up his mind to overcome his fear and show that stupid cat that he wasn't a Mystic to be picked on. He put on his Ozzie Pants, floated over to Alfador, and tried to look as big and imposing as he could. Then, Alfador let out a small meow. Suddenly scared to death, Ozzie hovered back over to his bed as fast as he could and tried to hide under the covers.  
  
Schala really wished she could get some sleep. Between the explosions from Lucca's experiments and the crashing noises coming from Frog and Ayla's room, she couldn't even get her eyes closed for a few seconds before some noise disrupted her attempt at sleep.   
  
That night, Tata decided he would run around like a total idiot and pretend he was the captain of the legendary starship, Rx-xR. Magus was using every last ounce of his willpower to keep himself from unleashing a Dark Matter on the little brat. He was this close to having an excuse to off Ozzie earlier today, and he really wanted to get rid of at least one annoying person today. Even a small Dark Bomb would get the job done...  
  
Melchior was up reading and researching. Robo was asleep, or whatever the robot equivalent to sleep is, so Melchior's job was that much easier. The new weapon that he was fashioning out of Dreamstone was to be his finest ever, better even than the Masamune and Rainbow. A piece of art of this caliber was worth coming out of retirement to build.  
  
The Nu stood silently in the living room, refining his plans for world domination. Now, it was only a matter of time before he could put the plan in motion. Everyone would be sorry for messing with the Nu. 


	4. Day 3: Goodbye and Good Riddance

The next morning, most of the group gathered around the kitchen, but Ayla and Frog were absent. Lucca went upstairs to check on the two. When Lucca opened the door, she saw Frog and Ayla lying together on the floor, one on top of the other, apparently asleep. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. What was going on here?  
  
Lucca went to wake them up, but saw both of them were unconscious. A good whack over the head with the hilt of her gun changed that, though. Frog and Ayla stirred, then they both managed to stand up.  
  
"What in the world happened?" asked Lucca.  
  
Frog started off on some story about how Ayla went mad with hunger and attacked him. It seems they both slammed into the wall and were knocked out. Ayla said she didn't remember any of it. Lucca, however, could see right through their hilariously fake stories.  
  
"Okay, you two, what really happened?" Lucca asked the two. "I'm not stupid. I can tell what really went on," continued Lucca. "But what I wanna know is... why? How?"  
  
Frog's eyes grew to twice their normal size in shock. "What art thou suggesting, miss?"  
  
"You know what I'm talking about, Frog."  
  
"Ayla don't know what Lucca talk about..."  
  
"Miss, I be not that type of man. Thy imagination hath gotten the best of thy wisdom."  
  
"Come on, Frog..."  
  
"Hold thy tongue, miss. Now, let us dine downstairs."  
  
Everyone had finally arrived downstairs, but before they could begin with breakfast, the TV came back on. Jimmy's huge face appeared, and everyone watched to see what awaited them now.  
  
"Good morning. Today is the third day, so tonight we will be choosing one member of your group to be eliminated. Everyone will vote for one person they want out, and the person with the most votes will be sent to The Void."  
  
"To make things more interesting, I set up a little event for you all to compete in. The winner gets immunity: they cannot be voted off tonight. The competition will happen at noon. Good luck to all of you."  
  
"Okay, that was disturbing," said Lucca. "It's my turn to cook breakfast." Lucca searched throughout the kitchen but found no edible food. "Okay, petals again. How nice."  
  
After everyone was through with eating their healthy, yet tasteless, breakfast, Lucca went back to check on her computer. Entity's Home was finally up. It was the personal homepage of the all-powerful Entity, maintained by someone known as jIMmY62924. It had a huge picture of the Entity as he appeared on the TV screen, plus a little info on how powerful he was. Lucca couldn't use any of this information, but there were several links on the side of the page. One called "Reality Show" caught her eye. She clicked on it, then walked away.  
  
Ozzie, Tata, and Frog made up the hunting party this time. They managed to sneak up behind a sleeping dinosaur twice the size of one of them. It seemed like they had hit the big one. Frog concocted a plan to kill the giant beast.  
  
"Ozzie shall toss me toward the beast, then I shall plunge mine sword into the beast's flesh, then Ozzie shall wield his lightning magic against our foe, whilst Tata attacks the beast as well with..."  
  
"It'll never work," interrupted Ozzie. "I say we stay back here and both attack with magic..."  
  
"'Tis a poor plot. My blade shall overcometh this beast. Magic alone shall do naught but anger it."  
  
"Shut up, Sir Froggy. Who died and made you a tactician?"  
  
Suddenly, before Frog or Ozzie could do anything, Tata suddenly took off at a run toward the sleeping dinosaur, screaming wildly something about a Hero and fearing his wrath. He tossed his shield aside and held his dagger at a attack stance as he charged toward the sleeping giant.  
  
"No, you stupid kid! Stop!"  
  
"Thou fool! Desist!"  
  
Tata paid no heed to Frog and Ozzie. The blade Tata held did indeed pierce the dinosaur's skin, but when it opened its eyes, it looked more annoyed than hurt. It was just about ready to claw Tata to pieces when a huge wave of water fell out of the sky and landed on the dinosaur, distracting it temporarily until a blast of lightning followed and stunned the monster. Not trusting Tata to use a lick of common sense, Frog grabbed Tata and ran away from the stunned dinosaur as quick as he could.  
  
Although Frog, Tata, and Ozzie missed the big one, they were still able to bring home a small mess of frogs and found a whole basket full of some type of fruit they'd never seen before. It was now noon, and it was time for the challenge the Entity spoke of. Everyone stood waiting in front of the TV, which came on right as twelve noon.  
  
"Good day to all of you. Time for the challenge: a test to see who has the strongest will and the strongest stomach. Poyozo, go to it!"  
  
Suddenly, a Poyozo appeared beside them. It had a bag full of something, but there was no clue as to what it was.  
  
"To win this challenge, you must eat one of the things in the bag: a bat."  
  
The Poyozo opened the bag, revealing thirteen live bats.  
  
"So, who wants to try?"  
  
Ayla inched up to the bag, grabbed a bat, then moved it toward her mouth. She tried two or three times, but she just couldn't force herself to put it in her mouth. She finally walked away, muttering "Ayla want cook bat before eat. Mean head ruin good meal for Ayla."  
  
Ozzie shrugged, hovered over, picked up a bat, then bit its head off. Everyone gasped. He swallowed the rest of the bat in one gulp, then hovered off laughing.  
  
"Ozzie wins the first immunity challenge. See you all tonight when the voting occurs."  
  
Despite the bad mood that settled over everyone with Ozzie's victory, lunch turned out okay. Magus cooked the frogs to a nice deep gold with a fire spell, and the fruit was served whole. Although Schala and Frog were kind of ticked off about getting no main course, the fruit was good enough to make up for it.  
  
Time seemed to pass slowly between lunch and voting time. Frog and Robo played chess with an old set Frog found in the closet in his room, Melchior went back to work on whatever he was making, and Tata was put in time-out by Ozzie for what he did on the hunting trip. Magus and Schala started reading a book on how to use dark magic more advanced than Dark Matter. Marle and Lucca practiced their Antipode magic for whenever they might need it.  
  
Finally, it came time to vote somebody out. Jimmy came on the TV again and explained that everyone should write the name of the person they wanted off on a slip of paper and give it to his Poyozo assistant. After the voting was done and all the ballots were in the, the Poyozo read the votes in its high-pitched voice.  
  
"Nu. Tata. Magus. Nu. Ayla. Tata. Tata. Tata. Tata. Lucca. Magus. Alfador. Crono."  
  
Jimmy took over. "Tata, the group has spoken. You have been chosen to be cast into The Void. Say your goodbyes now."  
  
Tata started to cry, then Jimmy cut him off.  
  
"Magus, cast Black Hole on Tata," commanded Jimmy.  
  
"With pleasure," said Magus coldly.  
  
An eerie black portal appeared behind Tata. It sucked him in, then immediately closed back up. Magus smiled, Ozzie and Frog exchanged high-fives before remembering they were mortal enemies, and everyone else didn't even pretend to look sad.  
  
"Now that there is a vacant bed in Magus's room, Nu will now move in with Magus. I'll talk to you all later..."  
  
Everyone, except for Frog and Schala of course, ate the wonderful supper Crono and Lucca prepared: crispy fried frog with a side of whole fruit. There was a little more food to go around now that Tata was gone, so everyone had one more good reason for liking him gone. After the wonderful meal, everyone retired back to their bedrooms for a well-deserved rest.  
  
Jimmy looked over the live pictures of the rooms. Boring. Everyone went right to sleep that night, even the ones like Melchior and Lucca that never seem to sleep. Something would have to be done to ensure a decent show during the night. That Frog vs. Ayla fight was really good, but what are the chances he could stage something like that? He had to think of something...  
  
Nu's plans seemed to have hit a snag, he thought. Two of them wanted to vote him off. And his strategy of trying to vote Crono off seemed to be ineffective, as he was the only one who did. However, this won't affect his plans in the long run, because he needed Tata out of the way anyway sooner or later. 


	5. Day 4: The Plot Uncovered

Another morning. Everyone gathered at the breakfast table, only to find that all the frogs were cooked last night. Frog was kind of happy that he wouldn't have to cook other frogs, but he acted like he was disappointed as he gave out the last of fruit they had collected yesterday.  
  
Lucca realized that the webpage she looked up was probably up by now. She walked over to her computer, and sure enough, the Reality Show page was up. She almost couldn't believe what she was reading.  
  
The page told all about how the whole thing with them being forced to stay in the dome really was a huge game to him. He was taping everything that occurred in the house to make a hit reality show series on the Net. Great. Her and her friends were just toys to this Entity. What disturbed her even more, however, was the section of the page titled "Plans."  
  
"Tonight, on Day 4, I have a surprise planned for the entire cast, especially Ayla. Don't miss it! Day 5 will be even more action-packed. There will be a special challenge where the whole cast must battle a horde of power monsters, and the last person standing wins. On Day 6, the next voting takes place. Barring immunity, the front runner for getting voted off looks like Ozzie. This may all change soon..."  
  
What in the world was he talking about? As confused as she ever was and not much better informed than she already was, Lucca walked away from her computer. A surprise tonight? From what she knew of the Entity, that was bound to be something less than pleasant. Whatever it was, she'd better stay on guard, and keep an eye on Ayla.  
  
Lucca volunteered to go hunting today, and she asked Ayla and Crono to go with her. This hunting trip turned out to be the most productive yet, with the total haul being five chicken-sized yellow dinosaurs, plus a good deal of fruit. It was mostly thanks to Ayla's keen hunting abilities, but Crono and Lucca kept that little fact to themselves. Lunch was great; Frog and Lucca grilled two of the dinosaurs to make more than enough meat for everyone. To the surprise of everyone, there were even leftovers. Marle froze the perfectly good dino meat so that it wouldn't spoil.  
  
Melchior returned to his room. His work of art was finally finished. Admiring the glistening metallic blade of the sickle, Melchior held his finished creation. Magus would be quite pleased with this, the one weapon that could defeat the Masamuse.  
  
Melchior and Magus met in a dark corner of the unused storage room on the first floor. Magus looked anxious. Melchior, however, was cool and calm as he usually was.  
  
"Do you have the Reaper, Guru Melchior?"  
  
"Right here, Janus."  
  
Melchior slowly handed the sickle to Magus, who held the weapon in front of him, admiring it. No doubt, Melchior was a true craftsman. Magus took a few practice swings at an imaginary opponent.  
  
"This is capable of defeating the Masamune?"  
  
"Yes it is, Janus, but be careful. The Reaper can be used for either good or evil. In your hands..."  
  
"Cut the speech, Melchior. I have a little score to settle."  
  
Lucca decided she had to find out more about what was going on with the Entity broadcasting their life in the house across the Net. She didn't have time to put up with her computer's load times, so she rigged up a T435534 modem from a old chewing gum wrapper, an extension cord, and her left sock. The Entity's webpage came up instantly when she clicked on it. Now, to view the clips from the shows...  
  
A list of movies she could view came up. The first one was Lucca and Schala, Night Two. What in the world was this? Lucca couldn't contain her curiosity and watched the movie.  
  
Lucca and Schala walked into their bedroom. Lucca looked over at her chemistry set, then looked at Schala. "I just got some new acids and electric motors to play with. You wanna help me out with a few of my little experiments?"  
  
"No thanks."  
  
"Come on! It'll be fun!"  
  
Schala just started walking over toward her bed, then the video just cut off.  
  
"What the...?! He made it look like we... We'd never... He took everything out of context! I was a perfect lady last night! I hate that Entity! Hey, what about this movie of Frog and Ayla?"  
  
Ayla kept lying in bed, looking hungrily at Frog. It was kind of disturbing. Then, Ayla got up on all fours, reared back, then pounced at Frog like a cat. The screen went black just when Ayla was about to hit Frog. The video ended with a brief shot of Frog lying on top of Ayla, just like Lucca had found them in the morning. So something did happen... or was this another out-of-context video? Lucca signed off again.  
  
Dinner was fine. Melchior and Nu fixed the dinosaur in some strange new way. It looked grilled, but the grill marks were black like it charred by an electrical current. Besides, they had no grill. Another great meal awaited the group, and afterwards everyone retired back to the bedrooms.  
  
In the bathroom, Ayla just finished taking her shower. She turned the water off, stepped out of the tub, and looked for her clothes, but they were missing.  
  
"Where Ayla clothes? Reptites take? No, Reptites gone. Maybe Ayla friends take for funny joke. Ayla go ask friends."  
  
Ayla wrapped a towel around her head and went to go ask about her missing clothes. She went over to Magus's room and tried to open the door. It was locked.  
  
"Magus, you take Ayla clothes?"  
  
"Why would I take your clothes, Ayla?"  
  
"For joke?"  
  
"You forget, I have no sense of humor."  
  
"Magus right. Ask Crono."  
  
Ayla walked over to Crono and Marle's room. It was unlocked, so she just opened the door and walked right in. When she did, Crono looked up from his bed, getting a full view of Ayla. Embarrassed, he quickly blushed bright red and closed his eyes.  
  
"What Crono turn red for? Just Ayla! Crono know where Ayla clothes are?"  
  
Crono told her he didn't know what she was talking about.  
  
"Crono no lie? Okay."  
  
Crono opened his eyes to see if Ayla was gone, but she was still standing there. So as not to insult her, or so he told himself, Crono kept his eyes open and attempted with to make eye contact with her. If only it wasn't so dark, he could see her better. Her eyes, this is. You know, for a cave woman, she didn't look half...  
  
"Crono sure not know where Ayla's clothes are?"  
  
Crono said yes, then watched as Ayla left. As he slid back under the covers, he looked over at the other bed in the room, where Marle was lying awake, looking at him. "Goodnight, Crono. Just keep your eyes shut next time."  
  
When Ayla stepped outside, she saw a little Poyozo carrying her clothes. She quickly ran up behind it, picked it up, took her clothes back, then threw the Poyozo as hard as she could against the wall. Ayla got dressed, then went on to bed like nothing happened.  
  
Jimmy was enraged "No! Not Miglio! He was my favorite! You're all gonna pay! I'll import the baddest monsters I can get from another universe, then I'll squash you all tomorrow!"  
  
Jimmy quickly got on the phone with the ruler of the crossover exchange, Mysterious Voice.  
  
"Yo, MV, I need a favor. What's the most dangerous monster I can get by tomorrow?"  
  
"Well, Jimmy, you're just supposed to be holding the Chrono Trigger universe together until the real Entity gets back from that business trip. I don't think..."  
  
"I said I want monsters! And lots of 'em! As evil and vicious as they come!"  
  
"Well, I can get you a whole load of Cactuars from various Final Fantasy universes, plus an evil clone of a main character from a Final Fantasy if you let Lavos guest star in a Sailor Moon..."  
  
"Okay, done!" said Jimmy, hanging up the phone. 


	6. Day 5: The Not So Final Battle

At breakfast, when everyone was finally downstairs, Lucca got up in front of everyone and gave the little speech she had ready.  
  
"Everyone, using my superior computer knowledge and hacking skills, I have found out the Entity's plan for what will happen to us next."  
  
"So what do we have to eat this time?" asked Ozzie, smiling.  
  
Lucca continued, unfazed. "Today, around noon, we will have to fight a horde of some type of powerful monster. According to the latest updates to the plan he made this morning, we have no chance to survive. The only thing we can do is train and get ready for our battle."  
  
"Why should we believe you?" asked Magus.  
  
"Okay, don't believe me. Get slaughtered," said Lucca.  
  
The knowledge that they were facing their impending doom kind of spoiled breakfast. After breakfast, everyone paired off and started sparring as training for the coming battle. While there were no serious injuries, it seemed like Magus "accidentally" nearly beheaded Ozzie with the Reaper quite a few times. Around twelve, Jimmy's face appeared on the huge TV again.  
  
"Hello. It's time for your first reward challenge. You will be facing a horde of extremely dangerous and bloodthirsty..."  
  
"Mmm, blood. The other red drink," Ozzie mumbled.  
  
Jimmy went on. "...monsters called Cactaurs."  
  
"Ooh, real dangerous sounding," Ozzie commented.  
  
Jimmy continued. "The person who remains standing the longest wins..."  
  
"A brand new car!" Ozzie said in an overly dramatic voice.  
  
"The big green tub of lard will refrain from MSTing my description of the challenge before I annihilate him."  
  
Ozzie blinked, then backed away from the TV.  
  
"That's better. As I was saying, the person who wins the challenge gets their choice of three prizes: a Chrono Trigger, a Power Tab, or a Poyozo doll. The battle begins in three minutes. Please step outside."  
  
Not wanting to get annihilated, everyone filed out of the front door. Suddenly, out of nowhere, five cacti shaped vaguely like people appeared.  
  
"These look like no problem," said Magus, charging up a Dark Matter spell to do them in quickly.  
  
All of a sudden, a thousand needles shot out of one of the cacti, knocking Ozzie unconscious and nearly killing him. Everyone jumped except for Magus, who was happy the monsters did his work for him. He cast Dark Matter, and the huge black mass of energy that struck the cacti caused them to disintegrate.  
  
"Some horde of monsters," scoffed Magus.  
  
Suddenly, fifty more of the cacti jumped out of the trees. They fired their needles as all the people tried to scurry out of the way. Marle, Schala, Robo, and Melchior were all hit. Lucca cast her flare spell from behind a tree, incinerating about twelve cacti, before one finally spotted her and gave her the needle treatment. Alfador bravely jumped into the midst of the cacti and dug his claws into the cacti he landed on, killing it. However, the other cacti fired their needles at him, taking out not only Alfador, but six other cacti by friendly fire.  
  
Magus, Crono, Ayla, and Frog stayed hidden behind trees. Ayla wasn't about to hide and wait for them to find her, so she jumped out from behind her tree and roared "Me Ayla! Not scared of plants!" Then she was struck by a thousand needles and collapsed.  
  
Crono and Magus decided to combined their most powerful spells to finish off the cacti. They shouted their spells and watched the resulting chaos.  
  
It turns out Luminaire and Dark Matter don't combine like fire and ice magic do. When the waves of dark energy hit the bright light, there was a huge explosion. The next thing the three fighters knew, they were lying on the ground where the forest used to be. Magus, Crono, and Frog slowly got up. In the barren wastelands around them lay the unconscious bodies of their comrades and the smoldering remains of the cacti.  
  
"The battle is over. We hath won," said Frog slowly.  
  
"Not quite!" boomed a Mysterious Voice. "You have on more opponent to face!"  
  
"Who are you?" demanded Magus.  
  
"That is not of your concern. Ji... I mean, the Entity, asked for a worthy opponent for you to face. Here she is."  
  
A Gate of some type opened, then a woman wearing a pink dress walked out. She looked around, then pulled out a huge quarterstaff.  
  
"Who are you, lass?" asked Frog politely.  
  
The woman replied coldly. "I am Sirea. I am evil. You all must die! The Planet demands so!"  
  
Crono started to cast Luminaire on her, but before he could, a flame shot up out of the ground and caused severe burns to appear on him. He fell over in pain.  
  
Magus held the Reaper steady, then charged right toward her. Before he could get close enough to hit her, she threw her staff at him. It hit him right between the eyes, knocking him out cold.  
  
Frog saw it was up to him. He gripped the Masamune as hard as could, then jumped five feet in the air. The evil woman was still laughing at Magus, so she didn't see him. Frog aimed himself at Sirea, then started fall toward her with incredible force. As he approached her, he readied the Masamune. Then, Frog landed right on target, driving the Masamune right through her back. She slumped over, then Frog pulled the Masamune out of her body. No blood. She must not even have been human...  
  
Jimmy's voice started booming again. "Frog, you have won the challenge. What do you want, the Chrono Trigger, the Power Tab, or the Poyozo doll?" Frog pondered this. He had no use for a stuffed doll, and a Power Tab was only a decent prize, not great. With the Chrono Trigger, however, he could bring the dead back to life. With that, he could bring back Cyrus...  
  
"I shall choose the Chrono Trigger, Entity."  
  
"A fine choice. Just a moment."  
  
At the End of Time, Gaspar faced two Poyozos. "You want another Chrono Trigger? That's too bad. I spenty ages making the first one. You're out of luck."  
  
"Well, Sir Frog, it appears this gift is currnetly unavailable. However, in its place, you can have..." Jimmy looked around his room frantically searching for a prize. He spotted a cheap plastic necklace and ordered the Poyozo to take it to Frog. The Poyozo did so, and Frog examined the trinket. "That! It's, um, a Necklace of Protection from Evil +1!"  
  
"Plus one of what, Entity?"  
  
"One degree of protection, of course. It's from, um, the ancient kingdom to the north of Guardia, Canadia."  
  
"I knowth not of this Canadia."  
  
"Of course. Canadia was burnt to the ground by the Mystics in 231 A.D. and the Guardians forgot all about them."  
  
That ancient kingdom story sounded kind of fishy to Frog, but he was sure the Entity knew what he was talking about. Frog watched as, one by one, the Poyozo sprinkled red feathers all over his fallen companions and they got up unhurt, like they had just woke up from a nap. Everyone except for Magus and Ozzie congratulated Frog on his victory.  
  
It was Lucca's turn to cook supper, so she went inside and just thawed out all the leftovers. Everyone seemed to like supper anyway, though. Maybe they were just tired. Everyone went to their bedrooms early that night.  
  
Nothing happened with Crono and Marle, as usual. Maybe she was still mad at him about last night with Ayla. Still, Jimmy hated the fact that the one pre-made couple he had wouldn't even touch each other.  
  
Frog and Ayla still wouldn't even pay attention to each other. What a failure as a couple. The best that happened was when Ayla tired to kill Frog. Oh well. Jimmy made a note to reassign bedrooms soon. Maybe Ayla and Melchior...  
  
Lucca was sure the Entity was watching the two of them somehow, so she decided to see how much she could fool this so-called all-knowing Entity. After Lucca was sure Schala was asleep, Lucca turned on the overhead projector she built earlier that day to project a huge picture of (of all people) Magus. Lucca smiled a huge, obviously fake smile, then closed her eyes. See if this threw him for a loop...  
  
Magus lay in bed, plotting the death of Ozzie. Tonight was too risky, Ozzie was probably still paranoid from the battle and set up a few new traps around the room. Besides, Ozzie would probably be voted off tomorrow anyway.  
  
Nu was revising his evil plan for tomorrow. Who would he vote out of existence? That cat was most definitely getting in the way of his plans to take over, but did he want the old man out of the way first? It wasn't going to be an easy choice. 


	7. Day 6: Next to Leave

Down in the kitchen, everyone was gathered around the table trying to think of some way that they could find something to eat. The forest outside was completely decimated when Crono and Magus's spells didn't exactly agree with each other during the battle yesterday. Their source of food was now nonexistent. Ayla, however, stepped forward with an innovative idea.  
  
"That animal good food," said Ayla, pointing at Alfador. Ozzie, after making sure Magus wasn't watching him, nodded in agreement. Magus, however, prepared to launch an assault of forbidden dark magic on Ayla as he stepped toward her.  
  
"No," said Magus. "We will not eat Alfador," he said flatly, his eyes starting to flash.  
  
"Cool down, Janus," said Schala slowly. "And Ayla, you had better not say anything about eating Alfador again in front of Janus if you value your life."  
  
"Excuse me," Robo piped in, "but my sensors show the remains of the humanoid cacti we battled yesterday have not decayed. It appears that the cacti are edible to humans, so it would be possible to use the cacti as a food source."  
  
"Ugh... gross!" groaned Marle.  
  
"That's a good idea, Robo," said Lucca. "Frog, Crono, and I will go gather as much of the cactus as we can. We're gonna be eating cactus for a long while now, so we best get used to it."  
  
"If I'm a vegetarian, can I still eat them?" wondered Schala out loud.  
  
A few hours later, Crono, Lucca, and Frog returned carrying piles of singed, cut up, dried out, and otherwise mangled cactus. It certainly wouldn't have looked appetizing had not one had an empty stomach.  
  
As soon as they had the piles of cactuis moved into the kitchen, Jimmy's face appeared on the TV screen once again.  
  
"Howdy! Tonight, one more loser bites the dust. But right now, we have the immunity challenge, and I'm sure you're going to enjoy it. Poyozo, bring in the stuff."  
  
A Poyozo appeared on the kitchen table, bringing with it thirty cardboard containers.  
  
"We're having a drinking contest! I brought a bunch of soda pop for everyone to drink. Drink all you can, and the last person standing wins! Good luck!"  
  
Everyone opened a can of soda pop and drank it. That is, except for Alfador, who immediately forfeited by leaving the room and going to drink out of a puddle of water. Unfortunately for Robo, who had no mouth, all he accomplished was pouring the soda pop all over himself and getting sticky. The Poyozo immediately declared in a high-pitched voice that Robo was disqualified.  
  
Marle took another drink of soda, then started twitching.  
  
"Already on a sugar rush?" asked Lucca almost mockingly. "Can't hold your caffeine?"  
  
"I most certainly can!" said Marle angrily as she downed another soda pop, then started bouncing up and down (much to Crono's delight) before she passed out on the floor.  
  
"Poor Marle," said Lucca. "Crono, why don't you go take her up to her bedroom?" Crono smiled, then Lucca quickly said, "Bad idea. Just leave her there for now. She's okay as long as you don't spill anything on her."  
  
The contest was going quite well. Schala passed out next after her fourth soda. It appears royalty wasn't doing too well. After everyone finished their sixth can, Frog looked around at his competition. Lucca and Crono were already kind of giggly. Ayla, Magus, Ozzie, Melchior, and Nu looked unfazed by all the sugar.   
  
After two more sodas, Crono passed out on top of Schala before Magus kicked him off her. Lucca, feeling sick to her stomach from all the bubbling liquid inside her, said "Let's take a break from all the drinking! My tummy hurts. I feel like bouncing on my bed. Does anyone else? This soda sure is good..."  
  
Ayla stood up and asked, "Lucca, you like Crono?"  
  
"Him? That jerk? He's all over the princess."  
  
"Yeah, he was all over Princess Schala just then..." said Ozzie before Magus cast an evil glance at him.  
  
"Let us proceedth with the challenge," interrupted Frog.  
  
After eight more sodas, Frog and Magus were the only ones left. Frog himself was twitching and his thoughts were getting fuzzy, despite the fact he had a high tolerance to sugar. Magus was obviously not himself. He was actually almost smiling.  
  
"Magus," asked Frog, "what lass here doth appear the loveliest in thine eyes?"  
  
"I'll have to say Lucca," Magus said as one of his hands almost twitched.  
  
"Lucca?" said Frog, surprised. "What qualities doth she have?"  
  
"Purple hair," said Magus. "What does it matter, anyway? Let's finish this game."  
  
After another soda, Frog passed out of the floor, making Magus the victor. Jimmy's face appeared on the TV again congratulating Magus on his victory. He was safe for three more days.  
  
After everyone woke up from their little naps around five in the afternoon, Lucca grilled some cactus for everyone to eat for supper. It actually tasted pretty good to everyone, mainly because they hadn't eaten in twenty-four hours. After supper was finished, everyone started toward the leftover soda, only to find Melchior emptying soda cans out the window. "This liquid Lavos has us under its control," said Melchior as he poured the bubbling liquid out the window. "I must dispose of it."  
  
"As your queen, I order you to stop," said Schala, with a hint of anger in her voice.  
  
"My queen, you have obviously lost control to caffeine. As the Guru of Life, I must destroy this for our your good," Melchior said in a self-righteous tone as poured the last can out the window.  
  
That night, when Jimmy announced the voting was to begin, everyone was pretty quick to write down who they wanted off. The Poyozo read off the votes after it collected them.  
  
"Melchior. Melchior. Melchior. Ozzie. Ayla. Ozzie. Ayla. Ozzie. Melchior. Alfador. Alfador."  
  
Jimmy reappeared on the TV. "Goodbye, Guru. Any last words?"  
  
"Be strong, Schala and Janus. I'll be watching you from the other side."  
  
"That's enough. Black Hole, now."  
  
Magus forced himself to cast Black Hole on Melchior, and watched him disappear just as Tata had. Why didn't those idiots vote off that psychotic girl Ayla, or even Ozzie? Melchior's move with the soda was stupid, but not unforgiveable. Why did the old man have to pull that idiotic stunt with the soda? Now, the Guru was gone and Ozzie was still alive and well...  
  
Jimmy started rattling off again. "Bedrooms will now be reassigned. Room 1 is Crono and Schala. Room 2 will be Ayla and Ozzie. Room 3 is Magus and Lucca. Room 4 is Frog and Marle. Room 5 will be Robo and Alfador. The Nu gets his own room. Goodnight!"  
  
After everyone moved their things around and got settled in their new rooms, Jimmy watched with interest. Surely he couldn't have struck out twice in a row. Crono and Schala didn't seem to be very interested in each other (maybe his first instinct about Schala was right) and both went right to sleep. Ayla and Ozzie really do seem to be a long shot, but Ozzie seemed to be looking at Ayla's tail an awful lot, so there might be hope there.  
  
Lucca couldn't help but look at the wizard that lay in bed across the room from her. She did succeed in convincing the Entity she liked him, but now that she thought about, he wasn't so bad. Now that she got to looking at him, she saw he actually did look pretty good, even with that creepy blue hair, Then again, who was she to complain about weird hair?. If the stupid camera wasn't in the room... Wait, what was she thinking? He had to be at least ten years older than her! She couldn't let herself think like that! Lucca closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on Crono, Fritz, anybody to get her mind off Magus, but it wasn't quite working.  
  
Ozzie couldn't help but stare at Ayla. For some reason he couldn't get to sleep. It wasn't that he found her attractive, but something about her seemed creepy. The way she moved around on all fours, that tail... That's it, she reminded him of that cursed cat. "What did I ever do to your species for you to pick on me?" Ozzie wondered out loud.  
  
Marle and Frog, unlike the other roomates who were lost in their own thoughts, stayed up and talked, both of them trying to figure out a way to break his curse. Neither Marle nor Frog was an expert on ancient curses, but they borrowed a book that Magus owned about breaking curses. The classic cure for the transforamtion curse was for a princess to kiss the victim, which didn't work. Another recommended method was killing the wizard who cast the curse. Other, less violent, ways included being cursed into a human by a wizard more powerful than the one who cast the spell (fat chance of that), chanting long passages of unpronounceable symbols, donating large sums of gold to the author of the book, and other unlikely cures. Marle, yawning, shut the ancient book went to bed. Frog went to sleep as well, too tired to continue researching on his own.  
  
Nu crossed Melchior off his mental list, then laughed silently to himself. The Guru was gone now, so there was no one left to keep his brilliant plan from becoming reality. The wheels were already in motion, he just needed to get Alfador out of the way before it was too late. From there on, everything would be downhill... 


	8. Day 7: The Plot Thickens Slightly

The next morning, before she did anything else, Lucca checked the Entity's website. The results of last night's vote were up, and the plans section had some new information.  
  
"The new roommates seem to have real chemistry this time. Crono was falling for Marle, but will he develop a fondness for Schala with the two of them sharing a room? Ayla and Ozzie is even more of a long shot than Ayla and Frog. Don't expect any romance, but a good fight is bound to happen sooner or later. I think I really hit the jackpot with Magus and Lucca, though."  
  
"NO! I hate you, Entity. I just hate you."  
  
"Lucca's fascination with Magus, revealed by the hologram of Magus that comforted her to sleep a few nights ago, combined with Magus's admission he liked Lucca during the drinking game yesterday..."  
  
Lucca stopped reading right there. Magus? Liked her? Eww. Why, besides her huge intellectual genius, caring personality, and unique, yet strangely attractive, appearance would Magus like her? Come to think of it, she could see why a man would fall for her, but Magus? She was ten years younger than him! It was just wrong, because... Well, she didn't quite know why it was wrong, but it was. She wasn't going to let herself like him. Because if she did...  
  
Then the Entity would win, because he was right about them. Lucca wasn't about to let that happen. She'd have to act like she loved someone else, at least in front of the camera. But who? Crono would do. She'd act like a, um, Marle around Crono while she was sure the Entity was watching to try and fool him. The Entity would be sorry he ever messed with Lucca the Great.   
  
After a mediocre breakfast of sliced cactus courtesy of Crono, Marle stood up on a chair. Ayla did the same thing, then jumped off when she spotted something shiny in the corner of the room. Marle spread her arms out, then began talking. "I have an idea! Some of us haven't been getting along too well, so I think we should all play a game together," said Marle enthusiastically.  
  
"We're not five," said Magus.  
  
"We're not gonna play little kid games. We're gonna play... grown-up games."  
  
Jimmy was just dying to edit in that sound clip out of context somewhere.  
  
"Like what?" asked Frog, thinking of yesterday's drinking contest.  
  
"You know, Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle, that type of thing."  
  
"We're not twelve, either," said Lucca, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Come on!" cried Marle. "I'll give everyone jerky!"  
  
And soon everyone was gathered around in a circle on the floor, read to play Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle, Duck Duck Goose, or whatever they had to play to get free jerky.  
  
"Okay," said Marle, "we'll play truth or dare. I'll start off by asking Lucca. Truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare."  
  
Marle giggled. "I dare you to sit on Robo's lap!"  
  
Lucca walked over and sat on Robo's legs like it was nothing, then sighed. "I hope that was just a warm up. If everything's as tame as that, this is going to get boring really quick. Hmm... Okay, I chose Magus. Truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth."  
  
"Have you ever kissed a woman?"  
  
"Not including my mother or sister, no."  
  
Not really caring what anyone else thought about his lack of experience with females, Magus surveyed the crowd, then chose his victim.  
  
"Ozzie, truth or dare?"  
  
Ozzie imagined all the evil things Magus would force him to do, then said "Truth."  
  
Magus smiled evilly. "Have you ever been defeated by a cat in battle?"  
  
Ozzie squeaked out yes, then disappeared with his head bowed in shame. Marle saw this game wasn't exactly working wonders for everyone's friendships, so she gave a small piece of jerky to everyone. Why couldn't everyone just be friends, wondered Marle as she gave out her last bit of jerky to Alfador.  
  
Lunch was another unremarkable meal, cactus cubes prepared by Frog. Afterwards, Magus, Schala, and Lucca buried their faces in ancient tomes, looking for a way to reverse the Black Hole spell and bring Melchior back. Marle and Frog got back to the books in search for a cure for the curse of the frog. Crono, noticing everyone else was reading for some reason, picked up one of Magus's books that had a sparkly cover and began reading about evil curses and neat stuff like that.  
  
Jimmy was bored, and frustrated. How could he ever get anybody to do anything interesting? Mind control would be easiest way, but the real Entity, knowing the full extent of Jimmy's warped mind, did not grant him use of that specific power. Jimmy only had the power to make insignificant NPCs give the heroes clues. What good would that do? Wait! That Nu technically was an NPC, and he was about as insignificant as you could get...  
  
Nu, was sitting around, putting the pieces of his master plan together, when he suddenly realized that telling Crono and Marle to go a step further in their relationship would further his plans in some unspecified manner. However, he couldn't just walk up to Crono and say, "Hey! Spiky! That princess chic's all over you! Are you dense or something?" He would have to find some way to subtly suggest they should get to know each other a little better. As he was plotting some ingenious method to work the comment into a conversation, Crono walked in and asked if Nu knew where some Blue Rock was.  
  
"I have no knowledge of a Blue Rock. By the way, do you like Marle?"  
  
Crono nodded his head, then Nu continued.  
  
"You know, I think you two have been going out long enough. You two should get married." Nu was amazed at what he just said. It was possibly the corniest and most scripted thing he had ever said in his entire life. It was as if that line was programmed into his head.  
  
Crono asked Nu what in the world was going on and what brought that up, but Nu just repeated what he said the first time. Crono shook his head in frustration, then started out the door. Right before Crono stepped out, he asked Nu what Frog put in his food during lunch.  
  
Nu felt an enormous impulse to tell Crono he should get married, but decided he didn't want to and would say something else. "You know... You should vote Alfador off as soon as you get the chance. That worthless feline has it in for all of us. I bet he's trying steal Marle from you."  
  
Crono looked at Nu like he was a psychopath. He unsheathed his sword just in case Nu went on a rampage and tried to kill him. Nu saw Crono was getting a bit touchy, so he shut up and let Crono leave in peace.  
  
Although Crono knew Nu was a few shy of a six pack, he couldn't help but imagine what a step farther in the relationship would be like. Now, he might actually tell her he liked, or dare he say it, loved her. It's not as if he was nervous, but he didn't want to scare Marle off by trying to take things too fast. After all, all she did was hug him once, except for maybe that first night in 65,000,000 B. C., but that didn't count, because neither of them could remember it...  
  
Supper that night consisted of a dish called Chunks of Raw Cactus, which the great chef Ozzie claimed took all afternoon to prepare. Magus declined to eat his portion after he noticed a rusty razor blade and a piece of broken glass sticking out of his, and pushed it off to the side. This meal was certainly not up to the usual mediocre standards, this was just plain bad. With the lousy meal fresh on their minds, everyone headed for bed.  
  
Crono looked over at Schala. He missed sleeping in the same room at night with Marle so much. Marle was beautiful, and he went to sleep every night dreaming sweet dreams of her. There was nothing special about Schala. Sure, she had a pretty face, but then again, so did Marle. Then she had that creepy blue hair. That hair reminded him of Magus. Added this to the fact that if he ever so much as touched Schala, Magus would kill him. Crono wasn't crazy about the idea of dying again. Crono finally fell asleep thinking of all the ways Marle was better than Schala.  
  
Marle and Frog had finally given up searching for a way for Frog to regain his old form, and both of them were fast asleep. Jimmy wondered what he was on when he put those two together. Maybe if he turned Frog back into a human...  
  
Magus had finally had enough of Ozzie, and he was going to end it all tonight. He picked up the Reaper and caressed the blade with his finger. Yes, this weapon was ready to kill. Magus made sure the girl Lucca was asleep, and he silently hovered out the door and floated over towards Ozzie's room. As he approached the door, a spike shot up out of the floor in front of him and a bell started ringing inside the room. Having lost the element of surprise, Magus dashed back into his room before Ozzie knew what was going on.  
  
Awakened by the false alarm outside, Ayla and Ozzie both tried to get back to sleep. Ayla fell back asleep first, and Ozzie could swear he heard her mumbling and plotting his death in her sleep. Ozzie took a deep breath, realized Ayla probably didn't have the brainpower to plot much of anything, and somehow didn't feel any more secure.  
  
Nu kept pondering over what happened with Crono that day. Why had he said that he and Marle should get married? It was like he was a pawn in some higher power's plan. He hated being a pawn. Right then, Nu decided to change all his plans to throw whoever it was that was using him off track. Now, priority number one was still getting Alfador voted off, but everything else had to be changed. Yes, this new plan truly would be unstoppable. 


	9. Day 8: Domestic Dispute

Everyone sat down to eat at the breakfast table, ready to inhale whatever was on their plate. This morning's special was cactus microwaved by Robo's weapons systems on low power. Despite the faint green glow, it tasted fairly good. Marle and Schala just started some boring heartfelt discussion about how hard it was being royalty when Ozzie decided it was time to be evil again.  
  
"Crono, last night, what were those strange noises coming from your room?"  
  
Schala rose to her feet. "Are you insinuating something?"  
  
Ozzie had to think fast. "Robo, did you hear something during the night?"  
  
"Indeed. My sensors picked noise from the other end of the hallway last night. However, most of the noise was coming Ozzie and Ayla's room."  
  
A look a disgust came over Marle's face. "Ozzie? Ayla? Ugh..."  
  
Nu saw Ozzie had already dug his own grave and fell in. Now it was time to start shoveling on the dirt. "I couldn't sleep last night from all the crashing noises coming from Ozzie's room. It was like the two of them were... never mind."  
  
Marle stood up with her hands on her hips. "Ayla? What were you thinking last night?!"  
  
Ayla, absolutely ignorant of what everyone was talking about, finished off her third plate of cactus before she answered. "Ayla no remember anything last night. What everyone talking about?"  
  
Ozzie defend himself, nearly yelling. "We didn't do anything. I didn't touch her, I didn't use my mind control..."  
  
"So that's it!" Lucca snapped. "You filthy green..."  
  
"How dare you?!" accused Schala.  
  
Magus saw his opportunity. An evil smile ran across his face. "Kill, Alfador! Kill!"  
  
Before Ozzie could react, a purple blur flew through the air straight toward him. A small set of claws raked his forehead. Ozzie ran his green hand across his brow, then looked at the blood on his fingers. That purple beast had finally gone too far. Ozzie shot a lightning bolt out of his fingertip at the blasted feline, but it dodged out of the way.  
  
As Alfador got ready to pounce at the Mystic yet again, Magus got an idea. "Everyone! Charge up Alfador with your magic!"  
  
Schala agreed. "Shadow Doom Blaze!"  
  
Alfador absorbed the spell, glowing an errie red. One by one, Alfador absorbed the spells Dark Matter, Luminaire, Flare, Ice 2, Water 2, and Shock. When he absorbing the last spell, Alfador was glowing white and shooting sparks out of his eyes.  
  
"Sir!" yelled a Poyozo. "Alfador's power level has exceeded that of Lavos Core! What are we supposed to do? If this keeps up, he could explode and destroy the very fabric of space-time!"  
  
"This is gonna be fun!" yelled Jimmy. "Wahoo! Go kitty, go!"  
  
Ozzie was prepared this time. He set up his blue energy barrier. Now he was invincible.  
  
"Foolish mortal!" boomed a disembodied voice. "Did you think you can stand up against the power of the almighty Alfador?"  
  
Alfador flew through air at the speed of light, shattering Ozzie's energy barrier and pounding Ozzie with unholy amounts of Shadow magic. A blinding flash filled the room. When it subsided, Ozzie was laying unconscious on the floor and Alfador was standing twelve feet, back to his normal purple color. Exhausted from becoming all-powerful for a few seconds, Alfador curled up and went to sleep.  
  
The wall panel slid open again, and Jimmy looked at the scene, smiling. "Well, it looks like some of us haven't been getting along. Ozzie, get up and listen when I'm talking to you."  
  
A Poyozo appeared out of nowhere and doused Ozzie with a bucket of Elixer. The beaten Mystic stood to his feet, and focused on the screen in fear of the Entity summoning a group of cats to attack him if he disobeyed.  
  
"Today's reward challenge will be a swimming contest. During the night, I put in a small lake outside. Your challenge will be to swim across the lake. Ladies, please change into your swim gear in your bedrooms."  
  
Four very small swimsuits appeared in front of the group. Marle thought they looked a like they might be a little bit tight. Lucca quickly crunched some numbers in her head.  
  
"Entity! We can't wear those!"  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"They would kill us. If we ever managed to get the things on, they'd and exert so much pressure on our chests that our lungs couldn't expand. We'd die of suffocation in a matter of minutes."  
  
"We all have to make sacrifices, okay? Well, since you whiny little ladies just have to have your oxygen, I'll just let everyone swim in their normal clothes. Have fun!"  
  
Ten minutes later, everyone was lined up on the side of the lake. A hovering Poyozo screeched out the commands. "Ready... set... go!" Everyone dove in except Alfador, who didn't want to get wet, and Robo, who didn't want to short circuit. The race was on.  
  
It turned out some people didn't know very much about swimming. Schala simply sank to the bottom as soon as she jumped in, and crawled back onto the shore of the lake. Magus managed to doggie paddle a bit, but he still wasn't doing very well. Ozzie and Nu found out their huge bodies made it impossible for them to swim, though they did float fairly well.  
  
Lucca and Marle swam as hard as they could, but they wouldn't keep up with Crono, Ayla, and Frog. Frog dove underwater, making it impossible for anyone to see him. Still, Crono and Ayla swam as hard as they could. They stroked faster and faster, neither one able to get very much ahead of the other. Crono pulled a few inches into the lead, until he lost it to Ayla, until he pulled back into the lead... The two swimmers were neck and neck as they drew nearer to the shoreline. There were ten feet to go, eight feet, six feet, four feet... Suddenly, Frog leaped out the water and onto the shore. "Thou didst try, Crono and Ayla. I commend thee for it."  
  
"A winner is... Frog!" said the Poyozo in an overly shrill voice. "I will return with your prize momentarily." The Poyozo disappeared, then reappeared holding a dish three times its size, carrying on it a Hyper Kabob. It was roast to a beautiful deep brown, sprinkled with various secret ingredients, and smelled absolutely divine. Frog almost started to drool. This was his?  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot, here's your prize." The Poyozo used its free hand to toss a Tonic at Frog. "Enjoy it. I'm going to go eat." The Poyozo disappeared, taking with it the delicious Hyper Kabob. Frog started to tremble with anger.  
  
Schala put her arm around Frog's shoulder and tried to comfort him. "It's okay, Glenn. We'll all survive this torture somehow. Just let it go."  
  
Gripping his Necklace of Protection from Evil +1, Frog agreed. "Thou art right, Schala. Let us returnth to the house."  
  
The rest of the day dragged on, with nothing really exciting happening. Ozzie sat in a corner hoping he'd be voted off soon just so he could get away from Alfador. Marle and Frog washed the dirty dishes, Frog practiced his swordsmanship, Lucca played around with her chemistry set, Nu went over his brilliant plans, Robo defragmented his hard drive, Schala wrote in her diary, and Crono and Magus exchanged cat-grooming tips. Finally, night came and everyone went to their bedrooms.  
  
Now Jimmy was ready to go desperate measures to force his chosen couple together. Magus and Lucca were both too stupid to act on their subconscious desires, so it was time to give their subconscious a little help.  
  
Lucca was about to lay down to sleep when her pillow spontaneously combusted, igniting her entire bed in flames. Magus cast an ice spell on the flames, and two gigantic chunks of frozen water appeared, dousing the fire. When the raging flame disappeared, Lucca's bed was no more than ashes.  
  
"Great! Now where am I going to sleep?"  
  
At the same time, the eyes of both roommates fell on Magus's nice, big, soft bed.  
  
"I guess we have no choice," said Magus flatly.  
  
"I don't want to do this any more than you do," Lucca snapped, "but we both have to get some sleep."  
  
"Okay. It's decided." Magus picked up the Reaper, and with one powerful slice, cut the bed in two. Lucca pulled the two halves apart, and each of the two roommates went to sleep in their own little bed.  
  
Jimmy put his head down on his desk and nearly started crying. 


	10. Day 9: Another One Bites the Dust

After a lovely breakfast of (surprise) cactus, Crono gathered Lucca, Marle, Schala, and Frog to tell them his little plan for a practical joke on Nu and Ozzie. He explained how everything would work and what everyone's role was. After he finished, he asked his four friends for their input.  
  
"Hmm..." Lucca said. "I only see one little flaw. How are we going to convince those two that our made-up scenario is real?"  
  
Marle had an idea. "Hey, Schala. You know a lot more magic than anyone else here. Can't you just cast a mind control spell on them?"  
  
"I'd rather not," said Schala quietly.  
  
"And just why not?" asked Marle indignantly.  
  
"It's a very difficult spell. Also, it involves forfeiting your soul, sacrificing three virgins to Lavos, and takes seven hours to cast."  
  
Lucca spoke up again. "Schala's right. We don't have that kind of time. I have a better idea for luring them anyway. Listen closely."  
  
Crono and Frog burst into Ozzie's room, panting.  
  
"What do you want? Get out!"  
  
"It's horrible..." Crono began.  
  
"Cats are attacking!" groaned Frog.  
  
"Liars!"  
  
Crono collapsed on the ground. He looked up at Ozzie. "No chance... to survive..."  
  
Frog fell down on one knee. "Ozzie! I bid thee, avenge our deaths! The cats hath already broken the front lines... Make haste!"  
  
Ozzie shook his head. "NO! I could never face those cats! I'll just be defeated, like last time, and the time before that, and the time before that..."  
  
Suddenly, a booming voice filled the room. "Ozzie! It is I, your father! I am speaking to you from beyond the grave."  
  
"Dad? Is it really you? You sound like a twelve-year-old kid."  
  
"Silence! Ozzie, what's wrong with you? When you were a kid, you used to pull cats' tails for fun. You must overcome your fear and uphold the honor of all Mystics!"  
  
"You're right, Dad! I'll skin those cats alive!"  
  
"Move, Oz! For great injustice!"  
  
Ozzie grabbed his Ozzie Pants and rushed out his door to face the feline menace. Meanwhile, Lucca and Marle were carrying out their part of the plan. Nu was taking a little snooze in the kitchen when the two women came running in and woke him up.  
  
"Nu!" yelled Marle, "You've got to save us!"  
  
"Ozzie's finally snapped!" began Lucca as she caught her breath, "He found the Ultimate Destruction Magic and going he's to kill us all! Only you and your amazing Nu-like powers can save us now!"  
  
Nu thought for a second. "Ozzie's destruction is fueled by hate, correct?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"If Ozzie's destruction is fueled by hate, then hate is necessary to continue the destructive impulses. However, all fuel, when used, is expended in some amount. So, logically, each time Ozzie has a destructive impulse, a small amount of hate is used up. Ozzie's supply of hate can not realistically be unlimited. After a set amount of time, Ozzie's hate will be depleted to nothing and the destructive impulses will cease. So you see, all I have to do is sit here and do nothing and Ozzie will become a champion of peace and love."  
  
Lucca nodded. "That all makes sense when you consider basic sixth-dimensional mathematics. Wait, look at Marle. What's wrong with her?"  
  
Marle's eyes were glazed over and she had a blank stare on her face. Lucca waved her hand in front of Marle's face. Marle didn't respond. Finally, Lucca smacked her upside the head.  
  
"No rubbish or Marle, head go boom!"  
  
"Anyway, Nu, Ozzie found a way to override the laws of physics. If you don't help us, all will be destroyed! Please! I beg of you!"  
  
"OK. I'll fight Ozzie."  
  
Nu managed to walk into the living room just at the same time Ozzie came down the stairs. Nu looked at Ozzie and began formulating a plan of attack. Ozzie just looked at Nu until he heard a voice calling out from the top of the stairs.  
  
"Nu's a traitor! He sided with the cats!"  
  
The two behemoths immediately charged straight at each other. Just when they were about to collide, Schala pulled the switch. A bucket of water fell from the ceiling and soaked Ozzie and Nu. Crono walked down the stairs, laughing his head off. Ozzie, however, had changed to a shade of deep red.  
  
"Oz... Ozzie's steamed!"  
  
As steam began to rise from Ozzie, Nu simply considered how ironic it was that everyone here had just unwittingly set up the eviction of Alfador later today. Nu didn't get long to ponder this, because the TV screen flickered on, showing Jimmy's disappointed face.   
  
"Crono, that was the lamest practical joke I ever saw! I even helped you out, and it still managed to be the most disappointing gag this show has ever seen. You are hereby disqualified from the immunity challenge."  
  
Crono walked up to his room, still smiling. It's not like anyone would vote him out, anyway. Even if they did, the joke was still worth it. What did the Entity know?  
  
"Where was I? Oh, yes. Today's challenge is a very unique one indeed. It is a game known only as 'What Number Am I Thinking Of?' I pick a number from one to one hundred, and the person who guesses the closest wins. Ready, go!"  
  
Everyone wrote down their numbers.  
  
"It was sixty-eight. Did anybody write down sixty-eight?"  
  
"I have seventy-one," said Schala.  
  
"Nobody got any closer? Okay, Schala wins. The voting's in three hours, have a nice day."  
  
Time seemed to drag on until the voting started. Ozzie resorted to begging for people not to vote him out, making all sorts of outrageous promises. He said he would acheive world peace, be nice to kitty cats, buy everyone all the jerky they could eat, fight for lower taxes, and other stuff he absolutely no intention of doing. Finally, the TV screen buzzed back to life, and Jimmy appeared once more.  
  
"It's time to throw out one more of you sorry losers. You know the drill: vote for whoever you want off. Have fun, and choose wisely."  
  
The Poyozo passed out the ballots, everyone scribbled down who they wanted off, and the Poyozo read off the votes its shrill voice.  
  
"Ozzie. Ozzie. Ozzie. Ozzie. Ozzie. Ozzie. Ozzie. Ozzie. Ozzie. Alfador. Alfador."  
  
"Well, it was a close race, but we're all getting ready to say goodbye to Ozzie. Do you have any last words?"  
  
Ozzie looked at the group. "I, Ozzie, am tired of making an idiot out of myself on a reality show! I finally get to escape this nuthouse, but you idiots..."  
  
Ozzie's ranting was cut short when Magus spread his arms out wide and opened up the Black Hole. Ozzie was sucked in, and the black portal disappeared. Magus smiled.  
  
"Finally. I'm free of that maniac. I spent all those years of my life living only for revenge... It's time that I finally..."  
  
Jimmy interrupted Magus's boring plot development. "Moving on, bedrooms will be reassigned. Room 1 will be Marle and Crono, Room 2 will be Schala and Frog, Room 3 will stay Magus and Lucca, Room 4 will be Alfador and Ayla, and Room 5 belongs to Nu and Robo. Sleep tight."  
  
However, nobody was ready to go to sleep that night. Frog broke out his secret stash of grape juice, Magus threw off his cape, Robo reconfigured his Laser Spin into a strobe light, Lucca cranked up the volume as high it would go on her computer speakers, and the party to celebrate Ozzie's departure began.  
  
After two hours, everything had lost all semblance of control. Marle and Crono were hugging each other on the couch. Magus demonstrated his mad skillz dancing to techno music while Lucca and Ayla jumped on the kitchen table and danced along with him. Frog watched in awe as Schala performed an exotic Zealian dance. Guzzling down another bottle of grape juice, Ayla was so far under the influence of sugar she was blowing kisses at Nu and Robo. Alfador didn't get into the spirit and fell asleep five minutes after the party began.  
  
Nu marveled at his newly devised scheme. Now, thanks to today's voting and the alignment of the planets, his total dominion over the planet was assured. Those fools would rue the day they dumped that bucket of water over his head. 


	11. Day 10: The Guest Star Cometh

Schala awoke to the sunlight shining on her face from the window. She blinked a few times, then surveyed her surroundings. There were empty grape juice bottles scattered here and there. Lucca was curled up in the fetal position in one corner of the room sucking her thumb, and everyone else was pretty much just laying on the floor like her. What had happened last night? Schala tried to remember what happened, but couldn't recall any more than a few fuzzy images thanks to Frog's grape juice.  
  
Everyone else got up shortly after, dazed and also wondering what was going on and what exactly they did last night. After a few minutes of trying to recall very fuzzy images, Lucca got the idea to ask Robo, but his visual and auditory sensors were disrupted by the strobes lights and techno music, so he was no help. Nu was also inquired as to what went on, but every time they questioned him, he was compelled to say "..." by the voices in his head that he was powerless to ignore.  
  
"Okay..." said Lucca, scratching her head. "Let's all just pretend last night never happened."  
  
"I do believe that may be for the best," agreed Frog.  
  
Schala left the scene of the party and went to get a load of cactus from the refrigerator. When she opened the refrigerator door, the whole inside of the fridge was stocked with Power Stew and Refresh Bread. Schala clasped her hands in sheer joy, then read a small note taped to the inside of the door.  
  
"Eat this. It's good. Trust me."  
  
Schala was immediately suspicious of the food. Was this one of the Entity's evil tricks? Was this food laced with poison? Even if it was poisoned, Schala reasoned, they would die happy and well-fed. Schala began preparing the grand breakfast.  
  
Half an hour later, Schala walked into the living room and announced breakfast was served. Everyone moped in the kitchen, but when they saw the steam rising off the Power Stew and smelt the delicious Refresh Bread, they sat down at the table and went into a feeding frenzy, not caring at the moment where all the food came from. Five minutes later, the table was free of a single crumb of bread or drop of soup.  
  
After everyone was stuffed, Lucca crept back up to her room to check out the Entity's website. Now that Ozzie was gone, their was no conflict in the house. The Entity must have another evil plan up his sleeve to cause chaos, thought the scientist as she opened the door to her room.  
  
Jimmy, glancing at one of the computer monitors, saw Lucca in her room, walking toward her computer. "Aagh! If she sees all the plans I have on the website, she'll spoil everything!" Working quickly, Jimmy hit a few shortcut keys on the keyboard to pull his webpage offline.  
  
Lucca entered the domain name for the Entity's Homepage, but all that came up was a blank white page, displaying nothing except the number 404.  
  
"What the...?! 404?"  
  
Lucca signed off. What could 404 mean? She considered the many possibilities. It could be the Entity's favorite number. Maybe it was a teaser for the next challenge the Entity would present. Quite possibly, the number had some mystical significance mere mortals were never meant to understand. There were countless possibilities, but Lucca had no way of knowing if any of them were correct. Sighing, she walked back downstairs.  
  
Jimmy watched the non-stop, heart-pounding action unfolding in the living room. Crono, Frog, Schala, and Marle began an exciting game of blackjack with no stakes. At the same time, Robo's bishop captured Lucca's pawn in the most chaotic chess match the house had yet to see. Magus observed Alfador's valiant battle with a ball of yarn. As much as Jimmy hated to break up this thrilling course of events, he decided it was time for his next step to begin.  
  
"Poyozo!" he called. The cute little creatures assembled in front of him. "I want you to fetch a woman in 1000 A.D. known as Crono's Mom. She is to be a guest star on our show. Now, go!"  
  
Crono suddenly heard a knock on the door. He stood up, walked over to the door, and opened it. To his amazement, his mother stood outside.  
  
"Well, hello Crono. It's good to see you again."  
  
Crono stepped aside and let his mother in.  
  
"It's certainly a nice place that Entity let you stay in. Oh, you all must be Crono's friends."  
  
Everyone nodded, still almost in as much shock as Crono. There were some introduction made between Crono's mom and the two she didn't know, Schala and Nu. She gave them her blessing, and was now at least sure her son wasn't hanging out with the wrong crowd.  
  
"Would you like a tour?" offered Robo.  
  
"Why, thank you. I'll be happy to look around. Lead on."  
  
Robo walked over toward the stairs. "We will begin with the bedrooms." Robo kept talking as everyone, including the guest, ascended the stairs. 'These are where we go for privacy. They are also used as sleeping quarters. I believe it would be best if I let each person show you their bedroom."  
  
Marle walked up in front of the group. "This is Crono's and my bedroom..."  
  
"WHAT?!" Marle instantly knew she said something wrong. Crono's mother's eyes widened. Her face turned a vibrant red, her fists clinched, and she actually started to shake with anger. No one dared make eye contact with her. Everybody also stood perfectly for still, lest she call down fire from the heavens to slay them.  
  
"What did you say?!"  
  
Knowing she had already got herself in too deep to lie, Marle flung open the door and pointed in the room, and hoped for the best as she began talking again. "Look! We even have separate beds! I swear, we aren't doing anything!"  
  
"And why do you expect me to believe that?!" yelled Crono's mom she got up in Marle's face. "And you, how dare your try to take advantage of my son?!"  
  
"And just what business is it of yours even if we are sleeping together?" Marle spouted off.  
  
The woman's whole body was now red to match her face. She was now ready to kill the evil temptress in front of her. "You..."  
  
Lucca broke the two apart before a massive battle ensued. Hoping with everything she had her plan would work, Lucca led Crono's mom away from the group.  
  
"What do you want more than anything else in the world?"  
  
"I want Crono to settle down and have children..."  
  
"For Crono to have children, what has to happen?"  
  
Crono's mother looked at Lucca for a second like she actually was going to kill her, then sighed. "I know, but my baby? He's only seventeen!"  
  
"Crono isn't a kid anymore. He's grown-up now." Lucca suddenly had a stroke of genius, as usual. "And what else do you want more than anything else in the world?"  
  
"Grandkids." Crono's mom smiled. "Lucca, I think you kids may be right for once."  
  
The rest of the day went surpassingly well. Crono's mom now seemed like her usual cheerful self. She cooked everyone a lunch of Power Stew and Refresh Bread, cleaned the entire house twice, and passed around naked baby pictures of Crono for everyone to look at.  
  
At supper, however, Crono's mom said it was time to go. She bid everyone goodbye, then walked out the front door, straight into a Gate back to 1000 A.D. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when she did. Crono and Marle gave each other a high-five. After having to put up with that woman all day, everyone headed up to bed early for a well-deserved rest.  
  
Crono and Marle each got into their separate beds, when Crono saw a note taped to his bed. Wondering what in the world it could be, he tore it off and read it.  
  
"It's okay. I understand what you're going through. You two have my permission to sleep with each other whenever you like. By the way, I wish you two would hurry up. I would really like to have some grandchildren some time in the future. - Love, Mom"  
  
Crono sincerely hoped this was a dream, closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.  
  
'Hmph," Magus thought out loud as he lay in bed. "I don't see what that idiot Crono sees in Marle. She's annoying, irritable, thick-headed..."  
  
Lucca rolled over in her bed so she could face Magus. "And what would you want in a perfect woman, o wise wizard?"  
  
Magus thought for a second. "Since you seem to care so much...I would rather she be intelligent, even tempered, and able to hold a conversation without saying something stupid. Physically, somewhat thin, fair-skinned, purple hair..." Magus caught himself and shut up.  
  
Neither Schala nor Frog could get to sleep for some reason. The two stayed up talking about boring things like friendship, loyalty, and the meaning of life. Finally, they fell asleep shortly after midnight, and Jimmy credited it to sheer boredom.  
  
Nu pieced together more of his plan to conquer the world. Crono's mom passing around those naked baby pictures of Crono furthered his plan tremendously. Those photos were his key to brainwashing the rest of the people in the house to serve in his elite army, the Knights of Nu. The world was about to experience the dawn of the Kingdom of Nu.  
  
Jimmy glanced over the monitors again. Nothing. If only Crono's mom were right, the show would have been much more interesting. Bringing in a guest star was supposed to be a sure-fire way of ensuring a good fight, but Lucca went and ruined a good catfight between Crono's mom and Marle. Jimmy cracked open a case of soda pop and began planning tomorrow's challenge. 


	12. Day 11: Card Clash

The next morning, after breakfast, everyone gathered in the living room. Nothing interesting at all happened. Marle suggested everyone participate in underwater basket weaving. Ayla and Alfador fought over a ball of string. Nu plotted his conquest of two continents using the chessboard. Jimmy finally couldn't stand the boredom any more and dropped in on his guests via television to begin the reward challenge.  
  
"Hello, everyone. It's that time again for the reward challenge! Today's challenge will be a scavenger hunt. During the night, I had my Poyozo hide three platinum coins somewhere in the house. The first person to find one wins first prize, the second person wins second prize, and the third person wins third prize."  
  
"And just what might these prizes be?" asked Lucca sarcastically. "Dehydrated water? Defective Power Tabs? Diet caffeine-free soda?"  
  
"No," said Jimmy with a smirk, "Monster cards."  
  
Three cards appeared out nowhere and hovered in midair.  
  
"Hmph," said Magus. "What idiot wants a card with a picture of a monster on it?"  
  
Crono and Lucca, however, were practically drooling over the cards.  
  
"Wow..." uttered Lucca in a reverent tone. "A premium super-limited edition Black Tyrano... I've never even seen one of those..."  
  
Crono gazed in silent awe at the mint-condition promo Heckran. This work of art was simply too beautiful for words. Crono saw it an honor for a mere mortal such as himself to simply bask in the glow of the small chunk of colored cardboard.  
  
"Ooh! Shiny!" exclaimed Ayla, looking at the last-edition Kiwala covered in reflective foil.  
  
"The challenge begins now!"  
  
Lucca and Crono dashed off as fast as their legs could carry them, looking frantically for some hint of a platinum coin. They rummaged through the cabinets in the kitchen, looked under the rugs, and even looked up to make sure it wasn't duct taped to the ceiling. The two were determined to find those coins at any cost.  
  
Suddenly, in the corner of the upstairs hall, something gray caught Lucca's eye. The scientist broke into a mad dash. Lucca finally got within reach of object, then clasped her hands around the cold gray coin in victory. Yes, victory was sweet.  
  
"Wait," thought Lucca out loud, "something isn't right here." She took another look at the coin. Now that she got to looking at it, it didn't really look like platinum. Lucca turned the coin over to see the word "loser" engraved on the other side.  
  
Marle thought she heard Lucca scream as she looked around downstairs for the coin. She then figured it was just her imagination and went back to looking. What could possibly happen to someone on a silly little scavenger hunt like this?  
  
Magus wasn't really too keen on participating in a hunt to win a worthless card. En route to his bedroom to lie down for a nap, Magus stumbled over something in the middle of the floor and nearly lost his balance. Checking to see what the offending object was, Magus noticed it was a small platinum coin. While he didn't really care about the card, he did like winning, so he turned in his coin to the Poyozo referee in the kitchen.  
  
Nu decided it would be in his best interest to intentionally lose this game. If he won, it would negatively affect every aspect of his world domination plan except recruiting an army of small animals to subdue the Mystics. Nu wisely decided to take a short nap instead of hunt down coins.  
  
Crono was getting desperate. He began looking in any place that had the slight chance of concealing a coin. The bathroom, the bedrooms, under the couch, in the refrigerator, inside the cabinets, down Marle's shirt... None of these held what he looking for (for the most part.) Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a round gray coin. He grabbed the platinum coin that sat halfway concealed under the toaster. After doing a little victory dance, he turned his coin in to the Poyozo judging the event.  
  
When Crono handed in his coin, the Poyozo screeched out "The event is over! Prizes will be awarded now!"  
  
After everyone assembled in the kitchen, the Poyozo continued with the awards. "In first place, with a time of twenty-seven seconds, we have... Alfador!"  
  
The premium super-limited edition Black Tyrano card appeared in front of Alfador. The cat looked at the card for a second, puzzled. Then, it stretched out is claws and ripped the card into tiny pieces, enjoying every second of it. Lucca turned her head so she wouldn't have to watch the card's terrible mutilation. Crono actually shed a tear for the card.  
  
"Second place, with a time of five minutes and thirteen seconds... Magus!"  
  
Magus accepted the Heckran card from the Poyozo. Now what in the world would he do with it? The best use he could think of at the moment was a bookmark, or maybe a firestarter.  
  
"Third place, with a time of eleven minutes and four seconds... Crono!"  
  
Crono slowly placed his hands on the last-edition Kiwala card. When he did, he felt a sudden wave of power rush through his body. He held the beloved square close to his chest, as to make sure it would stay his forever. Crono took another look at the card. It was so beautiful...  
  
"Okay! Game over! See you again later!"  
  
Crono walked back up to his room and opened the closet. He found his secret Marle shrine with the pictures and poseable action figure. He quickly rearranged it into a Marle/card shrine, with the Marle action figure standing next to the card to symblozie that the two would always live side-by-side in his heart. Crono backed out of the closet, narrowly avoiding knocking over Marle's secret Crono shrine with the naked baby photos.  
  
By the time supper was over, Lucca was couldn't endure the temptation anymore. She had to have that promo Heckran card. When she saw Magus setting the card on the table in the bedroom, Lucca decided it was time to ask for the card, and if that failed, beg and plead.  
  
"Hey, Magus, you don't seem to like that card very much. Can I have it?"  
  
Magus looked at her suspiciously. He didn't really want the card, but he was sure he could use it as a bargaining chip to get Lucca to cooperate with him. "No."  
  
"Come on! I collect Monster cards. I don't have a Heckran," Lucca said, keeping herself calm.  
  
"I won this. Don't you think I have a right to keep it?" replied Magus coolly.  
  
"Come on! You know how much I want it!"  
  
Marle heard the last line as she walked by the room in the hallway. Intrigued, she motioned for Crono to put his ear up to the door and listen with her.  
  
"No. I'm not just going to give it away to the first person who asks," Magus retorted.  
  
"Please," begged Lucca. "I'll even pay you for it."  
  
Crono and Marle looked at each other.  
  
"I don't want money. It's a matter of principle," said Magus.  
  
"Magus, you know, deep down inside, you want to let me have it."  
  
"...No."  
  
Lucca frantically looked around for something to trade Magus. The first she saw was her set of designer sunglasses that she left lying on her dresser. They would have to work.  
  
"Magus, let me show you something," said Lucca, picked up the five pairs of sunglasses. "Isn't this a nice set I have here?"  
  
The two eavesdroppers' mouths hung open in shock. Crono tried to look through the keyhole until Marle slapped him.  
  
"Yes, they're very nice," countered Magus, "but I won't give it to you because of some little things like those."  
  
"Please," begged Lucca. "I'm desperate! I want it so bad!"  
  
Magus shook his head.  
  
"I'll do anything. Anything you want." Lucca lowered her voice to a whisper. "Please..."  
  
Magus decided it was time to stop playing around. "Okay. I have needs, too. Sit down and I'll explain everything."  
  
Magus lowered his voice to where curious ears outside couldn't hear him. "You can have the card if you cooperate with my plan. Tomorrow, when we choose who to send to the Void, I want you to vote for Ayla. I believe we would all be better off without that brute here."  
  
"So that's all I have to do? And I'll get the card tomorrow night?" inquired Lucca in the same tone Magus was using.  
  
"So you agree to help me?" Magus stopped to think for a moment. "I trust you, Lucca. I'll let you have the card tonight."  
  
"YES!" exclaimed Lucca at the top of her lungs.  
  
Marle and Crono backed away from the door, and decided it was time for them to go leave Lucca and Magus alone and go to bed.  
  
Jimmy spilled his two-liter soda all over the keyboard from laughing so hard. Clutching his side, he did one last check on the bedrooms before he called it a night.  
  
"Marle," said Crono, looking the princess in the eyes, "I wanna apologize for what I did to you today. It was really inappropriate."  
  
"I'll say!" snorted Marle. "Even if you don't like underwater basket weaving, you didn't have to be so rude about it."  
  
Frog and Schala talked for a long while. Schala confided in Frog that she didn't trust Nu, that something in his aura was wrong. Frog, however, argued they had nothing to fear from a harmless creature like the Nu. The two debated on this for a few minutes until they got sleepy, then turned the lights out for the night.  
  
The other rooms were nice and peaceful. Magus and Lucca both slept soundly in their beds, Magus alone and Lucca holding the card she bargained so hard to get. Nu drifted off to sleep as well, dreaming happy dreams of butterflies, bowling balls, plates of sashimi, and world conquest. 


	13. Day 12: Rage Against the Machines

The next morning, Lucca and Magus came down to breakfast a minute late. As Lucca sat down, she noticed that Crono and Marle were staring at her. With a new sense of unease, Lucca began eating her Power Stew. Finally, after about a minute, Marle broke the tension with a simple question.  
  
"So, Magus, did you sleep okay last night?"  
  
Magus looked at Marle with an emotionless face. "No. I was afraid of the vengeance of all the people who lost yesterday's challenge. I was awake all night, fearing for my life."  
  
Robo decided to change the subject. "The atmospheric conditions today are quite pleasant."  
  
Nu agreed. "I like atmosphere."  
  
As thrilling as the conversation was, Jimmy was busy with something more important: preparing for the immunity challenge. This challenge was going to make the last one seem logical and well-planned. Poyozo scurried back and forth, putting the final touches on the devices that would shortly be needed. Jimmy sipped a can of soda pop and laughed.  
  
The TV screen once again buzzed to life, showing Jimmy's face. "Hello, my friends. Today's immunity challenge is going to be battle. Each of you will go one-on-one with one of the opponents I supply you with. The person who inflicts the most damage upon their opponent wins."  
  
"What are we fighting?" asked Marle, remembering the Cactuar from last week.  
  
"Rest assured, you will have a worth opponent." Jimmy's face disappeared, and the silhouette of a large robot appeared. The silhouette brightened, and became the robot known only as Gato.  
  
"This is Gato, Lucca's robot battle trainer. He worked so well at the Millennial Fair that I decided to make clones of him so all of you can battle him at once, also taking the liberty of making a few modifications. As I stated before, the one who can cause the most damage to the robot wins. The challenge begins now!"  
  
Everyone suddenly found themselves in small rooms with no exits. The only other thing in each room was a perfect replica of Gato. Thinking this would be an easy fight, each of the warriors charged at the bulky red robot in front of them.  
  
Crono soon found out that the task wasn't what it seemed. He sliced and hacked away at Gato with his blade for a minute before he realized he wasn't doing any real damage to the robot. Sure, Gato moved in slow-motion and didn't pack enough punch to make Tata blink, but the contraption looked to be indestructible.  
  
Magus leapt into the air and began swinging the Reaper at Gato. As Magus aimed for the robot, the blade of the Reaper began to glow blue. The scythe sliced through the robot's arm, which blinked out of existence once it was severed. Still airborne, Magus made several slashes into his mechanical opponent's back, finally exploding a Dark Bomb before he landed two feet in front of Gato. To Magus's surprise, the robot held the microphone to its mouth with the one remaining arm and began singing.  
  
"I lost, you wo.. wo... wo..."  
  
Gato's eyes started flashing and the panel on his chest slid open. Suddenly, the robot started firing Silver Points at rapid speed. Magus tried to leap out of the way, but his reflexes were too slow. A flurry of silver coins struck him in the side. The wizard fell to the ground, buried under a mass of Silver Points.  
  
Crono tried a different strategy. Using a move he learned from Frog, he leapt straight into the air. He landed on the robot's head, driving the sword straight into Gato. The contraption began sparking, then its head started spinning around. The head shot up into the air with Crono still on it, hitting the ceiling and knocking Crono out.  
  
Finally, after thirty minutes of such battles, Jimmy called time. He looked over all the battered robots and contestants. It looked as if Ayla, who kicked a hole straight through her opponent, was going to win, until he saw Lucca. Lucca, knowing how Gato was assembled, opened the hidden panel on Gato's back, shot out the generator that powered him, and began disassembling him. When the contest was over, her Gato was only a pile of metal joints, steel plates, wires, and screws.  
  
"A winner is Lucca!" announced Jimmy when everyone had been beamed back into the house. "You, Lucca, cannot be voted out today. Thank you for participating, I'll see you all again in a few hours. Have fun!"  
  
Frog decided it would be wise to go back in his room and meditate on who he wanted to vote out. Just as he was walking past the bathroom, Jimmy decided it was time for a little prank. A Poyozo popped up beside Frog and fired a barrage of blue lightning at him. The blast propelled Frog through the bathroom door, splintering it. Frog flew through the air, his mind not quite having caught up to what was happening yet. Somehow, Frog landed in the bathtub that was already full of water, cushioning the blow enough to keep it from killing him.  
  
When Frog opened his eyes, he saw a woman's face hovering over him. She had purple hair. When his triple vision corrected itself, he saw that it was Schala standing over him with a towel wrapped around her.  
  
"Are you okay?" she said as she put hand on his forehead.  
  
"Ugh..."  
  
"Just be still, Glenn." Frog felt the warmth of Schala's Cure spell regenerating him. In a few seconds, all his pain was gone. He looked up groggily at Schala.  
  
"What hath happened?"  
  
"I just got out of the bathtub when you slammed through the door and landed in the tub. You were lucky that tub was full."  
  
"Aye," grunted Frog. "Yet somehow," he continued as tried to stand up "I doth not feel so lucky."  
  
"Frog, we need to get you out of those wet clothes," remarked Schala while she helped Frog out of the tub.  
  
"I canst manage that myself," said Frog as he hobbled toward the room's exit. "Unless thou has set thy heart on helping me."  
  
"Oh, but I have," said Schala smiling.  
  
Frog turned around and smiled a little bit. "Schala, mayhap thy motives for helping me be less than honorable? I suspect it so."  
  
Schala laughed. "Oh, no. You figured it out."  
  
Frog let out a small croak, then walked though the shattered remnants of the door to the bathroom. He knew Schala was joking, but was she actually getting at something? The two of them were good friends, yes, but did she desire something more? Either way, she was a pretty lass...  
  
A few hours later, everyone sat in the living room, just killing time until the voting. Finally, the screen came on, and Jimmy gave them their instructions that they already knew. "Vote for one person, blah, blah, blah. Remember, in the end, there can only be one." The ballots were passed out, written on, collected, and read in a shrill voice.  
  
"Nu. Ayla. Robo. Magus. Ayla. Magus. Ayla. Nu. Robo. Marle."  
  
"The verdict is in! Ayla is voted out!"  
  
Ayla stepped forward and faced everyone. "Bye, all! Ayla see later!"  
  
"Magus, Black Hole, now!  
  
Calmly, Magus conjured the Black Hole. The cavewoman waved one last time, then the black portal pulled her into the Void. Three seconds afterward, Jimmy started talking again.  
  
"Alrighty!" he said cheerfully. "The bedrooms will not be changed at this time. Catch ya..."  
  
"Just a darn minute!" said Marle. "Now Alfador gets an entire room and two whole beds to himself? He's a cat! And there's an empty bedroom with nobody at all it!"  
  
"You're absolutely right," said Jimmy. "That isn't fair at all. Good night."  
  
Jimmy still held out some hope that something would happen. Anything. In reality, he though, he could probably literally put Crono and Marle in the same bed and they wouldn't touch each other.  
  
Schala walked over to Frog and watched as he polished the Masamune.  
  
"The Masamune is very beautiful, isn't it?" she said to Frog.  
  
"Aye," said Frog as he hefted it into the air. "The craftsman Melchior is truly great."  
  
"Can I hold it for a second?"  
  
"Wield it carefully."  
  
Frog handed the sword to Schala. She gripped the hilt, then started to swing the sword when Frog grabbed Schala's arm.  
  
"Caution, Schala! That swing would hath removed my head!"  
  
Schala suddenly felt very clumsy. "Let's try something else. I have two quarterstaves in my box of magical supplies. Would you like to spar with me?"  
  
Frog kept a straight face. "If thou wish."  
  
Schala tossed a staff to Frog. He hadn't fought with a staff since he was a kid, so he just gripped his like would a broadsword. Schala hadn't sparred with a staff since Belthesar taught her basic self-defense, but she figured she would at least have a chance.  
  
The two combatants faced each other. Schala raised the staff in the air, advertising the fact she was going to hit Frog over the head. Schala swung the staff and Frog parried. There was a large cracking sound, and a spilt second later Schala was left holding half a quarterstaff, with the other half lying on the other side of the room. Both of the fighters just blinked.  
  
"Worry not, Schala," said Frog, trying not to laugh. "Though I may be a better fighter..."  
  
Frog's condescending remark was interrupted when Schala shot a fireball out of her hand and knocked Frog onto his bed, flat on his back.  
  
"Yes, just a helpless damsel in distress I am," said Schala as walked toward Frog. "Woe is me."  
  
"Schala, thy magic far exceeds mine. I yield to thee," said Frog, blushing slightly.  
  
"We'll call it a draw, then." Schala looked down at the exhausted Frog. "All this fighting today really took a lot out of us. Let's go to bed."  
  
Magus and Lucca were up talking again this night. Lucca felt guilty about the deal they cut, but Magus tried to convince her she didn't do anything wrong.  
  
"Lucca, if we didn't make that deal, who would you have voted off?"  
  
"Nu, I guess," Lucca muttered.  
  
"Then Ayla would still be in the house. I don't like Nu, but what are the chances he would go crazy and kill one of us?"  
  
In another room, Nu silently cackled as he envisioned himself and the Knights of Nu sacking Medina and building the great Temple of Nu.  
  
"I see your point," said Lucca, "Since we're already in this together, who should we vote off next?"  
  
Magus put his hand up to his chin and thought for a while. "...Nu. I don't trust him."  
  
Lucca agreed. "Me either. I'd be able sleep a little better with him gone."  
  
"It's agreed, then." Magus turned out the lights. "I'm going to bed."  
  
Crono loving brushed his hand up against Marle's. She blushed, and the two smiled at each other before climbing into their own separate beds for a good might's rest.  
  
Jimmy sighed. He poured five packets of sugar into his bottle of soda, then downed the whole thing in one gulp. The Poyozo told him he was getting addicted to sugar rushes, but what did they know? He could stop any time he wanted to. 


	14. Day 13: All You Need Is Love

Jimmy downed a bottle of carbonated goodness as he admired the cleverness of his own plan. Now he was ready to make good use of his ability to create dream sequences. He wasn't very good at it yet, but the program he download off the crossover exchange, Windreamer, made all the special effects for him. In two hours, he created a dream more psychedelic and mind-altering than every ending from the Final Fantasy universes combined.  
  
Magus looked around him. He stood on a black cloud in the sky. Thunder and lightning crashed all around him, and no sun broke the darkness. As far as he could seem, the landscape was nothing but black clouds giving off a faint eerie red glow. Magus knew this must be paradise.  
  
From out of the heavens descend an angel. This was no wimpy cherub that appeared when someone cast a Life spell; this was an archangel. The marvelous creature came down from on high and hovered before the dark wizard.  
  
Magus gazed in awe at the winged beauty in front of him. She was beautiful. Shimmering violet hair crowned her head, and spectacles of sterling silver and glass sat before her inquisitive brown eyes. Moving down, she was adorned in a glowing ball gown of the purest white that revealed just enough of her creamy white skin. To top it off, she was held aloft by two regal silver-white wings that outshone even the dress.  
  
"Lucca?" asked Magus.  
  
"Yes," thundered in the angel in Lucca's voice. "But I am no longer just Lucca. I am the final boss of this universe! Join forces with me, and shall the rule the stars together!"  
  
Magus nearly danced a merry jig before he realized how ridiculous he would look. "I accept."  
  
Lucca the archangel smiled. "Now," she beckoned to him with a finger, "let me give you your reward."  
  
Magus sat straight up in bed. He just had the strangest dream. About bright lights and Lucca... Looking across the room, Magus saw the real Lucca was already up at this hour, mixing chemicals and constructing some device out of wire and duct tape.  
  
"Lucca," Magus inquired sleepily, "can you create an antidote for mind-altering drugs?"  
  
"Yes," answered the perplexed scientist. "Why?"  
  
"I need the strongest dose you can mix. Quickly."  
  
Jimmy laughed maniacally. Messing with peoples' minds directly was just as much fun as being subtle. Anyway, he decided to set back and see what developed today.  
  
After breakfast, Marle and Nu were stuck doing the dishes. Marle rinsed off the dishes as she began thinking out loud about Crono.  
  
"I like him, and I think he likes me, but what am I supposed to do now?" Marle sighed as she put another plate away.  
  
Nu decided it would be a good idea in this situation to give some of his brilliant advice, to create the illusion that he cared. "Hmm. Perhaps you should try to seduce him."  
  
"Well... Why not? That sounds like fun. Do you have any ideas for doing that?"  
  
"In fact, I do. But first, you need to sign this."  
  
Nu held up a paper that said "Disclaimer" at the top. The paper actually said that the signer of the contract pledged themselves to serve in the Knights of Nu. Marle didn't really care about all that legal mumbo-jumbo and signed at the bottom.  
  
"Now, if you can get some other people to help me, I can begin the plan."  
  
Crono sat in the living room, polishing the Rainbow sword. Suddenly, Lucca rushed into the living room. "Crono! Your card! Someone broke into your closet!" Crono took the sword in hand and dashed up the stairs toward his room. Within seconds, he burst into his room to find his closet door open. Crono opened the door to find a note in the closet.  
  
"Dear Crono, I have your precious Kiwala card. If you ever want to see it again, meet me in the empty storage room."  
  
Lucca stood in front of Crono. "What if it's a trap?" Crono stepped around Lucca, and replied even if it was a trap, he had no choice. With a killer glint in his eyes, he set off toward the storage room.  
  
Crono opened the door to the storage room. There, in the storage room, stood Marle, holding the beautiful last edition Kiwala card. Crono edged in slowly, not believing what he saw.  
  
"Why?"  
  
Marle giggled. "Oh, Crono. You want the card back?" She hesitated. This plan Nu made just felt wrong. Crono nodded his head, and she decided to go all the way.  
  
"Well, come get it!" Marle pulled the seat of her pants back a bit, and dropped the card in. Crono's eyes opened wider than she'd ever seen them. "Well," she turned her back to him and patted her rear. "Come get it!"  
  
What was he to do? He wanted the card back. Marle meant business. Crono wanted to remain a gentleman, but that was no longer an option. He knew what he had to do.  
  
Crono lifted the Rainbow sword into the air. This was it. He took aim.  
  
The sword came down in a blur. Marle closed her eyes, and she felt the rush of wind as the blade streaked by her face. The sword came down past her torso, and with deadly accuracy, severed the seat of Marle's pants. The detached cloth fell to the ground, and the card with it. Crono grabbed the first edition Kiwala card, then looked up at Marle.  
  
Marle looked over her shoulder at her rear end. The seat of her pants was missing completely, revealing her bright blue panties. She tried to cover that up, but the rest of pants, with the seam having been severed, fell to the ground as well. She stood looking down at Crono, half-naked and feeling quite embarrassed.   
  
Crono blushed red as Marle. He got to his feet, and he asked Marle if she was okay.  
  
"Well, you nearly scared me to death, and now my pants are ripped to shreds, but otherwise I'm fine." Well, this certainly wasn't going according to plan, but she decided to continue seducing him. ""What do you think of my panties?"  
  
Crono blushed even redder, and said they're very nice. He said that maybe he should go up to their room and grab Marle another pair of pants.  
  
"Okay," giggled Marle. Crono turned to open the door out of the storage room, but it was locked from the outside. He wondered out loud what in the world was going on.   
  
The Nu laughed silently as he fixed the door to the storage to only open from the outside. His rulership was no assured. Marle was already bent to his will, and Crono was soon to follow. If he could get rid of that cat, he would be home free to rally the Knights of Nu.  
  
Lucca and Magus walked up to the storage room. "So, why did you cooperate with the Nu's plan again?" asked Magus skeptically.  
  
"It was actually Marle's request," said Lucca, defending herself. "I don't think it's going to hurt anybody, even though that maniac Nu planned it. Besides, I think Crono and Marle make a cute couple."  
  
Magus smiled. "Playing matchmaker?"  
  
"What's wrong with that?"  
  
"Kids." Magus looked at Lucca. Why not play along? "Okay, I'll match you up with someone."  
  
Magus began his reasoning. Lucca would want someone very intelligent. That automatically ruled most of the people he knew. After a bit of reasoning, he narrowed the choices down to the housemates.  
  
"Well?" asked Lucca.  
  
"I'm still thinking. Glenn?" Glenn, for his faults, was polite: too polite and chivalrous for Lucca, who would get bored wth him. "No."  
  
"Crono, possibly?" The two were already close, perhaps best friends, but they have shown no interest in each other. Crono was already latched onto Marle as well. "No, not Crono."  
  
Magus thought a moment. What about himself? The two of them got along well enough. And he had to admit Lucca was cute, with her shiny purple hair, fair skin, cute little... What was he thinking? He shouldn't be taking this so seriously. "I suppose I'm your best match."  
  
Lucca took a deep breath. She couldn't let herself like him, because that was... wrong. Somehow. Probably. Well, this was just a game, so why not play along?  
  
"You think so?" Lucca put her arm around the wizard. "Well, I guess we need to get to know each other a little better."  
  
Magus wrapped an arm aroud Lucca. "That's a good idea, my precious."  
  
Lucca pointed upstairs. "I think we could use some 'alone time'."  
  
Just then Schala walked into the room. "Does anyone know where I could find..." Schala stopped and stared at her little brother and Lucca with their arms wrapped around each other.  
  
Magus and Lucca got out of their embrace and stared at Schala, feeling quite foolish. "It's not what it looks like," began Lucca.  
  
"Okay. If you say so Lucca." Schala smiled. "You two can go have all the 'alone time' you want."  
  
"We were just kidding," said Magus.  
  
Schala shook her head. "Do not worry, no one else is going to hear a word about this."  
  
Back in the storage room, Crono was getting ready to crack under Marle's advances. She was starting to fell a little strange about teasing Crono so much, but still she had to get him to realize what he had. As she stood in front or Crono, she felt a little chill in the air. Looking up, she saw an air conditioning unit now turned on to full power. Within a minute, the temperature dropped about ten degress. She was through being sexy, she wanted to be warm.  
  
"Crono? Can I have your tunic?" she asked sweetly.  
  
Crono pointed out that then he'd have nothing to wear, and he would be cold.  
  
"Well, that's just not fair. You have that nice tunic to keep you warm, and I'm freezing in my underwear."  
  
Crono told Marle that she could sit by him and he'd keep her warm. The princess sat down hip-to-hip with Crono, and he decided that maybe being trabbed in here wasn't so bad after all.  
  
Back in 1000 A.D., Crono's Mom decided to check on Crono. She pressed a button on her refrigerator, and the communication screen with Jimmy came on.  
  
"Oh, Entity, I was just worried about Crono. How is he doing?"  
  
"He's alone with Marle and she's got her pants off."  
  
"Oh. Well... Talk to you later."  
  
Crono's Mom looked at the calender. She flipped nine monthes ahead, then circled the date. She was going to love being a grandmother.  
  
At supper, it became evident that a few people were missing. "Where are Crono and Marle?" asked Robo. "I have not seen them since breakfast."  
  
"Well, maybe they wanted a little 'alone time," said Schala, looking at Lucca.  
  
"They are perfectly fine," said Nu. "They somehow got locked in the storage room. I think one of us should go check on them."  
  
Robo undid the lock on the door, and the storage room swung open. Sting on the ground were Crono and Marle. Marle clung to Crono for warmth, her skimpy underwear and sleeveless shirt helping none. Crono clung to Marle as well, but for recreation purposes instead of practical.  
  
"Hello," said Robo. "How did this happen?"  
  
Crono and Marle explained the whole story to Robo. "That is interesting. You may wish to go get dressed, Marle. Everyone is worried about you."  
  
Minutes later, Crono, Marle, and Robo walked into the living room. They were greeted by people saying how glad they were everyone was okay. After a few intense games of checkers, everyone decided to call it a night.  
  
Jimmy sat back in his chair with a bottle of soda in hand. Ahh, this was great. Tonight, he was ready to watch the ratings soar.  
  
Crono plopped down on his bed. He watched as Marle walked in from her hall after her shower. Marle, ready for a nice warm bed as well, climb into her own bed.  
  
Magus and Lucca walked into their bedroom, and Lucca spread out across her bed. "Ahh, this bed feels great."  
  
Magus sat down on Lucca's bed with her. "It looks like we finally have our 'alone time', Lucca."  
  
Lucca pulled the covers over her. "You want both of us to be tired for the challenge tomorrow?"  
  
Magus stood up. "Good point." He hovered over to his own bed. "Goodnight."  
  
Jimmy looked over everyone. They were all sound asleep. Good. The challenge tomorrow was going to be the biggest yet. Oh yes, it would rock. Jimmy downed another bottle of soda pop as he prepared to set up the challenge. 


	15. Day 14: Run For Your Life

Jimmy sat with a pencil and paper sketching out the final details of the challenge for the day. As he placed the final touches on it, a Poyozo approached him.  
  
"Sir, lately you've been focusing all your energy on this game. Perhaps you should check to make sure there are no abnormalities in the space time continuum that might be dangerous."  
  
Jimmy laughed. "It's only been about two weeks. What could have happened?" Jimmy tuned a monitor to 65,000,000 B.C. to see people in Ioka village using computers hooked into a giant network.  
  
"Kino post message!" yelled Ayla's illiterate husband as he pressed random keys on the keyboard.  
  
Jimmy looked over the scene. "Who is responsible for this?"  
  
A Poyozo looked over a computer printout of the damage report. "Someone found Lucca's Gate Key and went back in time to sell computers to the people of Ioka."  
  
"Well, that couldn't affect the future too much, could it? Maybe humanity will become smarter."  
  
Back in the house, everyone sat around the table, eating breakfast. "DIS FOOD IZZ SUCKS" said Crono as he took a sip of the Power Soup that Magus fixed.  
  
"Dont diss my l33t cookin skillz u nOOb," said Magus.  
  
"LOL," said Lucca.  
  
Jimmy quickly used his powers to activate the self-destruct mechanisms in every computer in the Prehistoric Era, correcting the great wrong that had been committed. "Ah, that felt good. Now, time for the challenge."  
  
Magus picked up the plates off the table after everyone finished breakfast. "Any second now..."  
  
Right on cue, the television flashed on. "Ah, good morning," said Jimmy as he looked over the people in the house. "It's time for today's challenge. It took me quite a while to borrow all this from other universes, but I think you'll like it."  
  
Jimmy disappeared from the screen, replaced by a large yellow bird. "This is a chocobo, a bird from another dimension. Your challenge today is to ride these birds in a race, and the winner will receive valuable prizes."  
  
"I suppose you want us ladies to ride in swimsuits small enough to make Ayla blush," said Lucca sarcastically.  
  
Jimmy never thought of that. That was a pretty good idea Lucca had, but first he had to check the Chocolease contract... "Sorry, but that would destroy the wholesome, family-friendly image of the chocobo."  
  
The housemates walked outside to find nine chocobos lined up in a row. The barren wasteland that resulted from the Cactaur battle was also gone, replaced by a variety of exotic landscapes, from jungles to snowfields to a volcano.  
  
"It's beautiful," said Schala.  
  
"They're so cute!" giggled Marle as she patted a chocobo on the head.  
  
"How art these steeds manipulated?" asked Frog as he looked at the chocobos.  
  
"It's very simple," said Jimmy. "These are well-trained chocobo. Lean to the left to make the chocobo go left, and lean to the right to make the chocobo turn right. Lean forward to make it go faster, and lean back to make it slow down."  
  
"Also," Jimmy added, "there are various power-ups along the track that can help you. Good luck everyone." Everyone got on their chocobos, including Nu somehow. A Poyozo waved the green flag, and eight chocobos tore off into the distance.  
  
However, a lone chocobo and its rider stood at the finish line. Nu dismounted his chocobo, and looked it in the eyes. "Be free, chocobo! Go, frolic whimsically in the woodlands with your animal buddies!" Nu smiled inwardly as he watched the beautiful creature run off into the distance. It gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling deep down inside, the feeling of subtly altering the world's ecosystem and furthering his plan for world domination.  
  
Meanwhile, the race continued. Crono took an early lead, but Frog and Schala were only inches behind him. Frog pulled out in front as the racers entered the jungle area. The path made a sharp hairpin turn around a grove of trees, and Lucca's chocobo maneuvered in front of Frog, nearly ramming into him, to gain the lead.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Schala saw a strange red vegetable along the side of the road. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she moved her chocobo over as fast as she could to check it out. Instead of stopping, the bird ran right into the red mushroom. In a split-second, the chocobo's speed doubled, and all Schala could do to keep from getting thrown off was wrap her arms around the chocobo's neck. Schala breezed past the other competitors and over a rickety bridge before returning to normal speed and leaving Schala comfortably ahead of the pack.  
  
"What in the name of Pac-Man?" said Mysterious Voice as he looked over Jimmy's plans for the race. "You stole how much? The real Entity is going to kick your sorry hide into next week, literally."  
  
Lucca and Frog led the pack as they attempted to catch up to Schala. Dodging boulders placed in the path for no reason, they were neck and neck as they entered the ice area of the course. There, the path became solid ice, and everyone had to either cut their speed or careen into the white snowbanks lining the course.  
  
Alfador finally directed his chocobo somehow to the beginning of the ice area. There was floating in midair a block of some sort. Alfador jumped onto it, and a glimmering yellow star appeared. When Alfador touched it, he began glowing with the power of invincibility once again. Alfador ordered the chocobo to go straight forward. Plowing through snowbanks and destroying all in his path, Alfador was back in the race.  
  
Magus edged in front of Robo when suddenly a yellow blur shot by him. "What the?" Before he could get a second look, all that was left of the blur was a chocobo-shaped hole in the snowbank beside him.  
  
Marle fell behind in the running, barely ahead of Magus. As she raced along, she thought she heard something. She turned her head to the side. The second she did, from the snowbank beside her came a glowing chocobo and rider. The chocobo slammed into her a full speed, and Marle and her chocobo flew ten feet up into the air, then crashed down onto the ice with a thud. Marle lay sprawled across the ground, and her chocobo, lacking a rider, yelled "Wark!" and scampered off.  
  
As Alfador exited the ice area and neared the volcano, his aura began to fade. As his invincibility faded, he pulled over to the side of the course. He dismounted the chocobo, curled up, and drifted off to sleep.  
  
Using the shortcuts Alfador made, Lucca and Crono were able to nearly catch Schala. The three were fairly close, and Schala's lead had shrunk drastically as the racers entered the volcano area. Crono wasn't doing so well; Lucca and Schala were lighter and quicker than him. Growing from the barren black rock on the side of the track was a simple red and white flower. Maybe that was one of the "power-ups" the Entity spoke of. He swerved over to grab it, and when his hands touched the flower, he changed.  
  
Crono's hair went from a flaming red to a nearly-white blonde. His jumpsuit flashed from blue to orange in an instant. What in the world did that do? Well, maybe it would help. Crono pointed at Lucca, the first person he would pass. Suddenly, a fireball shot from his finger, hitting Lucca's chocobo in the tail. The chocobo started running around out of control, and while Lucca tried to put the fire out, Crono usurped second place.  
  
Crono was right behind Schala as the two raced around the side of the volcano. Crono lined up the shot. If he was going to take out Schala too, he would have to aim his fireball perfectly. He pointed his finger at the purple-robed woman and sent the fireball her way. Schala raised one hand in the air and a mist of water shot through the sky, intercepting and neutralizing the fireball.  
  
Crono now knew he had to concentrate all his energy into one huge fireball if he was to win. Concentrating all his energy, he prepared to blast Schala away. Once he was done gathering energy, he put both hands together and released the energy. Schala swerved out of the way and dodged the blue beam. Crono, because he was busy trying to hit Schala and not watching where he was riding, ran into a rock.  
  
Schala crossed the finish line first, and she hopped off her chocobo. Fireworks went off, and a huge banner above the goal unfurled that read "A Winner Is You." Schala was led by Poyozo to a podium, and she watched while Frog crossed the line, followed by Lucca, Magus, and Robo. The other four were retrieved by Poyozo dolls so they could watch the ceremony.  
  
"A winner is Schala!" squeaked out a Poyozo. "Please pick three of the twelve prizes selected by the Entity." A table appeared with twelve items on it. Hmm... what to choose?  
  
A card? No, she had no use for those. A Lode Shield? It would look nice in her room, but what good would that do her? An Enertron? No. Ozzie Pants? She wouldn't take them if someone paid her. Finally, something caught her eye: a blue silk ribbon.  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"That is a relic from another universe called the ribbon. It can prevent and reverse any and all status aliments such as poison and petrifaction."  
  
"Yes, I will take that one. I need something to wear with these robes.  
  
Schala looked over the rest of the items. She already chose something for herself, perhaps she should get something everyone could enjoy. A bag of jerky sat on the table. "I choose the jerky as well."  
  
She had one more item. Frog came in second place; he really deserved something for that. What would he like? A bag of cat food? A Sexiness Tab? A Sword +1? A Prism Cloak... Why not? "I will take the Prism Cloak."  
  
"Wise choice, Schala. Thanks for playing, everyone."  
  
Back inside, everyone gather around Schala. Everyone kept asking her what she got, so she finally pulled out the ribbon and put it in her hair. Next, she pulled out the bag of jerky and sat it on the table. The scent of the perfectly spiced jerky filled the room.  
  
"Here. Everyone can have some whenever they want it." Schala quickly became the most popular person in the house.  
  
Supper passed. Crono served Power Stew again, this time spiced up with bits of real jerky. Everyone loved the meal, and there wasn't a drop of stew left after the meal was over.  
  
After supper, everyone sat in the living room not doing much of anything. Marle tried to pass the time by making conversation. "So, Lucca, remember that party in 65,000,000 B.C. when we met Ayla?"  
  
"I can't remember very much of it."  
  
"Me either."  
  
Crono shook his head.  
  
Marle looked at Magus. "Remember that time that Alfador beat up Ozzie?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"That was funny, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
The conversation carried on in this insipid manner for a few hours. Jimmy finally turned the sound on mute and he started working on some pure comic gold to put on the Crossover Exchange, a picture involving Nu and the ownership of a number of bases. By the time he finished, it was night and everyone was heading for their rooms.  
  
As Marle walked passed Alfador's room, she though she heard some strange voice. She went back, and put her ear up against the door to listen.  
  
"Mwa ha ha! Those fools! It is time I at last unleash the unholy power of destruction! I, Alfador the Omnipotent, will resurrect Lavos. Destruction shall rain from the heavens! Awake, Dark Lord! Exchange this world for..."  
  
Marle burst the door open, only to find Alfador sitting in the middle of the room, perfectly still.  
  
"Meow," said Alfador.  
  
Marle closed the door, and the voice started again. "Idiot human! I am unstoppable! Soon you will know the true terror of I, the Almighty Alfador! Death awaits you! Mwa ha..."  
  
Marle opened the door again. In the center of the floor still sat Alfador, perfectly still.  
  
"Meow," said Alfador again.  
  
Marle put her hand over her head. She really needed to get some sleep. Marle walked into her room and got right into bed.  
  
Nu climb out of the closet in Alfador's room. "Mission accomplished." This ruse was one step closer to being rid of that purple feline forever.  
  
Magus and Lucca sat on their own beds, talking. "So, we vote out Nu tomorrow," said Lucca as she stretched out. "Twenty-four hours and we're rid of that maniac."  
  
"Agreed," said Magus. "Unless he gets immunity."  
  
"We have to make sure that doesn't happen," Magus said quietly as he turned out the light.  
  
Schala and Glenn sat at their table. "So, Glenn, there is another prize I got for you," said Schala as she pulled out a folded piece of jade green cloth. "I chose this one for you."  
  
Frog unwrapped the cloth to see it was a Prism Cloak. "I thank thee, Schala." Frog took off his tattered old moss green cloak and threw it to the side. He slipped on the new cloak. "Aye, 'tis a handsome gift. I thank thee again."  
  
Jimmy looked over the rooms. Could it get any more G-rated? He had quite a few schemes ready to up the ratings, but he didn't want to use them just yet. He sipped a bit of soda, then began working on the next day's challenge. 


	16. Day 15: You Can't Always Get What You Wa...

Frog opened his eyes as he heard a creaking sound. A faint light shone in the door, and a black form stood silhouetted against the pale light. There was also the silhouette of a weapon with a long, curved blade. The figure began walking forward into the darkness.  
  
"Janus?" asked Schala groggily.  
  
The table light flipped on, revealing that the intruder was indeed Magus. "Schala, Frog, we need to talk. This is important."  
  
A minute later, Schala and Frog walked across the hall to Magus and Lucca' room, wondering what should be so important as to get both of them up early. Going inside, Lucca shut the door and showed Schala and Frog to their seats.  
  
"What is it that you needed to talk about?" asked Schala.  
  
"As you know," began Lucca, "today we vote someone off. What we need to discuss is who to vote off."  
  
"Should not this decision be left up to one's conscience?" asked Frog.  
  
"Normally, yes," said Lucca. "But if we ally and all vote for the same person, the odds of one of us getting voted out greatly decrease."  
  
"And who do you have in mind to vote into the Void?" asked Schala.  
  
"I believe the Nu should go," said Magus. "I can't explain it, but something is wrong about the Nu."  
  
"He's also nuts," said Lucca. "Whenever you talk to him, he gives some reply that makes no sense whatsoever."  
  
"Aye," agreed Frog. "Yesterday, whilst I was talking with Crono about swords, the Nu did say 'I like swords. But I bet Alfador hates them.' "  
  
"The Nu... I do not trust him," said Schala simply. "I think it would be for the best if Nu were not around, so that we would be safe if he does do something... not sane. Frog? Who do you think should go?"  
  
Frog pondered. He honestly couldn't imagine the Nu being harmful, as annoying as he was. He wanted to vote off Alfador, because Nu was an intelligent being, and Alfador was just a cat. However, if Magus ever found out that he voted Alfador off, he would regret his decision for the rest of his vastly shortened life.  
  
"I think the Nu should leave this mortal coil," responded Frog.  
  
"Nu it is," said Lucca as she turned the overhead projector off. "Well, that took all of five minutes. Now what are we going to with this extra hour before everyone wakes up?"  
  
"Sleep?" suggested Schala.  
  
An hour later, everyone gathered around the breakfast table, ready to have whatever jerky-based meal the cook could come up with. Robo was the chef in charge of breakfast, and everyone was eager to sample whatever he could come up with.  
  
"What?" said Marle indignantly. "This is the same Power Soup we've been eating for a week!"  
  
"Of course," said Robo with a bow. "This Power Soup is full of vitamins and minerals. Adding jerky would make the Power Soup full of cholesterol and less healthy for human consumption." Everyone choked down the soup they were now sick of, and after breakfast raided the jerky bag to show their arteries who's boss.  
  
Everyone sat in the living room, waiting for the challenge. As soon as everyone sat down, the TV screen came on and Jimmy's face popped up. "Hello, guys. We have a rather interesting challenge today. As you can see, the forest outside has been restored. It's time to bring back an old tradition from almost two weeks ago."  
  
A pile of bags appeared in the center of the room. "There are many frogs in the forest. Your challenge is to catch as many frogs as you can, and the winner gets immunity. You have two hours... go!" On his word, the housemates filed outside in search of the amphibians which would get them immunity.  
  
Lucca, as he walked down the path, noticed a pit by the side of the path. Taking a bit of time to check it out, she saw it was swarming with what looked like a mother lode of frogs. She ran forward and began stuffing the creatures into her bags.  
  
"Lucca," said Robo as he passed by her. "My sensors indicate that those lifeforms are toads and not the frogs which are required to win the contest."  
  
"I know," said Lucca. "But I don't think the Entity is smart enough to know the difference, much less care."  
  
"Is it wise to say that when an omniscient being such as the Entity is listening?" asked Robo as his philosophical advice program kicked in.  
  
"Just leave, Robo," said Lucca as she stuffed both sacks full of counterfeit frogs.  
  
Frog took an alternate path that ran beside a small stream. There were a few frogs scattered along the banks of the water that he picked up as he went along. He wondered if anyone else was having better luck. About twenty minutes took Frog to a small pond where many frogs were gathered. Frog began stuffing his fellow amphibians into his bag. This was surely enough to put him in the lead. As he collected the loot, he saw what looked like a rather large pair of frog eyes in the water. He reached for then, and there was suddenly a huge splash.  
  
From the pond jumped a huge frog, slightly taller and twice as wide as Frog himself. This wasn't just any frog, this was the Frog King, the creature he took the Hero Medal on the journey with Cyrus. What in the world was this doing in the Entity's time?  
  
"Gribbit! It looks like Glenn has undergone a few changes!"  
  
Frog gripped the Masamune with both hands. "Be gone, filth. I hath no time to waste with thee on this trial."  
  
"Give me back the Badge of Courage, and I may let you go!" bellowed the Lord of the Frogs.  
  
"Doest thou realize I could strike thee down on the spot?" asked Frog as he took aim at the Frog King.  
  
The Frog King bellowed again, and suddenly five hundred frogs jumped from the trees and out of the undergrowth. These weren't just any frogs; they were the elite kung-fu frogs, the personal army of the Frog King. Frog backed away. As strong as he was, he had no hope of winning a battle like this.  
  
Suddenly, from off the path jumped another creature, a huge blue creature. The very ground shook as Nu landed between Frog and the Frog King's forces.  
  
"Glenn!" said Nu, "save yourself! I shall hold off the evil amphibians long enough for you to escape!"  
  
"But thou wilt be killed!" protested Frog even as he backed away.  
  
"Better a Nu die than a noble warrior!" said the Nu as it stepped forward.  
  
Leaving Nu behind, Frog ran. What chance did Nu have? And why in the world Nu suddenly do something noble? As Frog hopped out of earshot, he heard the Nu's voice scream out "Nu Cannon!"  
  
Schala looked at the frog in front of her. She hadn't caught one yet. Her life as a princess didn't exactly prepare her for catching frogs in the woods. Still, she was going to catch this one. Lining herself up, she pounced like a cat toward her target. Before the frog could react, it was caught in the sack. Score one for the princess.  
  
She dusted herself off as Marle walked by. "Oh, Schala! How are you doing?"  
  
"Fine," said Schala. "I got one."  
  
"Really?" said Marle.  
  
Magus, tired of looking for frogs, knelt down by the stream and cupped his hands to get a drink of water after his tiring hunt. Schala and Marle were talking about something only a few yards away.  
  
"So, what happened?" asked Marle as she stretched out.  
  
"Well, I sacked the frog," said Schala.  
  
Magus nearly choked on the water.  
  
"That's great! Was it your first one?"  
  
"Yes. I think I did good though."  
  
Magus splashed his face with water. He reminded himself they might he talking something perfectly innocent, not that Glenn defiling his sister.  
  
"You have any trouble?"  
  
"No. I just pounced on him, but it worked fairly well."  
  
"Is that how you got your robes all dirty?"  
  
"Yes. Rolling around in the dirt does not make for clean robes."  
  
Magus picked up the Reaper. He reminded himself that Frog and Schala were both adults and Frog had every right to... Wait, what was he saying? That Frog was going to pay for ever touching his sister.  
  
Schala laughed a small laugh. "It definitely surprised him. The frog never saw it coming."  
  
Then again, Magus thought, there were many thing he didn't know about Schala. He picked up his bag and went back to hunting frogs.  
  
After bidding Schala farewell, Marle walked onward down the path. She checked her bag: there were paltry twelve frogs in there. Where could all those frogs be? Maybe if she looked for some kind of clues on the trail, she could find where all those frogs were.  
  
"Now!" The Poyozo quickly planted a signpost at a fork in the path seconds before Marle came near. Jimmy knew this had to work. That wasn't just the caffeine and sugar talking, he knew this would work.  
  
Marle stared at the signpost in front of her. "Hmm, to the left, 'Pit of Unspeakable Horrors.' To the right, 'Free Frogs.' Gee, I wonder which way is best." Marle took the right path without a second thought.  
  
Crono walked forward down the left path. The sign told him he was heading for free frogs. He had no reason to believe otherwise: what idiot would post false directions in the forest? As he moved forward, the forest began to get denser. Every few minutes, the trees seemed closer together and less and less sunlight seemed to be getting through.  
  
Marle made her way through the forest. The path had almost disappeared, and the forest was getting so dense it was beginning to look dark. For this much work, this place had better have frogs out the wazoo.  
  
Crono hacked a couple of branches out of his way to step into a clearing of sorts. It was warm, but dark as the late evening with all the trees branched overhead. A small shallow pond sat in the middle of the clearing. He decided it was time to take a little break, and sat by the water's edge.  
  
Marle parted a bunch of tree branches and made her way into a small dark clearing. By the pool of water in the center sat Crono. She looked around. Maybe the frogs were close. Anyway, she was getting tired.  
  
"Mind if I sit beside you?" asked Marle as she walked toward Crono. Crono patted the piece of ground beside him, and Marle sat down. "Thank you, Crono."  
  
"How you doing with challenge?" asked Crono.  
  
"Not too good." She sighed. "I only caught twelve."  
  
"I only caught fifteen. I'm sure we're way behind everyone else."  
  
Marle looked up. "We might as well give up now."  
  
Crono looked at her. "Now what? I don't feel like going anywhere."  
  
Marle looked down at the crystal clear pond. The image of her and Crono was reflected perfectly in the water. She looked into Crono's green eyes and put her arm around her friend. "I don't want to go anywhere either."  
  
Crono put his arm around Marle as he noticed the fireflies flickering about. "So what do you want to do?"  
  
Marle sighed. "Let's just relax and enjoy this." She laid back onto the soft ground. "C'mon, Crono..." Crono laid beside Marle, and the two relaxed side-by-side in the peaceful forest.  
  
"NO!" yelled Jimmy. "Don't relax!" He slammed his fist against his desk. "How dense can a human being be? You're alone! Do something!" He downed another can of extra-caffeinated soda. "I want some hot Crono/Marle action, not some sickening romance!"  
  
The Nu nodded at the Frog King. "And those are just some of the benefits of joining the Knights of Nu." He held up a contract. "Just sign on the dotted line."  
  
"Wait." The Frog King looked at Nu. "Can you add a clause about the frog army getting laser beams and sharp spears?"  
  
"Of course," said Nu. "But you'll have to give up the dental plan." The Frog King signed the contract. "Now, I'll borrow a few of your troops. Say, two bags full."  
  
The two hour time limit was up, and everyone met back at the frog counting station. Well, almost everyone. Crono, Marle, and Nu were still missing.  
  
"I will find Crono and Marle," said Robo as he walked off.  
  
"Where's the Nu?" Magus asked no one in particular.  
  
"I saw him," Frog began. "I did confront the Frog King, and I would hath been slain, but Nu appeared, and he said for me to flee, that 'twould be better for himself to perish than I. He challenged the Frog King's army himself."  
  
"What?" exclaimed Lucca. "The Nu? Being noble? If it wasn't coming from Frog..."  
  
"If this is true," Schala looked about, seeing nobody but their alliance of four, "I am having second thoughts about whether this creature is as worthless as we thought."  
  
Robo pushed open the brush to find Crono and Marle lying beside each other on the grass. Marle saw the gold robot out of the corner of her eyes, and quickly took her hand from Crono's shoulder. That might look... bad to the casual observer.  
  
"Hello, Crono and Marle," said Robo as walked into the clearing. "What are the two of you doing?"  
  
"Um..." Marle stammered. "What does it look like we were doing?"  
  
Robo fired up his logic centers and tried to deduce what happened. "My innuendo program suggests that the two of you had sexual intercourse."  
  
Crono and Marle both blushed. "No," said Crono awkwardly. "We didn't."  
  
"Ah. Data correction complete. Would you care to join us?"  
  
The Poyozo looked around. "Well, let us begin without Nu. Let the judging commence!" Lucca plopped her two bags full of toads on the frogometer. The display screen flashed a big fat zero for her total score. "I'm sorry, but those were toads," said the Poyozo. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll learn biology... someday." Every bit of love Lucca ever had for Poyozo vanished at that second.  
  
Everyone else didn't even bother, because Frog had a sack mostly full of frogs. His total score was 78, and nobody else was even close. As soon as Frog was convinced he had the immunity won, out of the distance came a strange blue form holding two bulging full sacks.  
  
"These are all I could take alive," said Nu as he lugged the two sacks along. "The rest... well, let's just say they are no longer a threat."  
  
Inside, everyone contemplated who they would vote off now that Nu was immune. Marle and Crono were still somewhat steamed at Robo for insinuating what he insinuated. She would never tell Magus, but Lucca was voting for the only member who wasn't her friend: the cat Alfador. Robo had no reason to vote anyone off, so he decided to just randomize his choice.  
  
Schala would have voted off Alfador, but she knew how much Alfador meant to Magus. Instead, she voted for Robo, the least fun one to be around. Magus, with the Nu being immune, decided Marle was the way to go, because having one less annoying bubbly person around would make things much nicer. Alfador wanted Frog out because he patted him less than everyone else. Nu wanted Alfador gone so he could rule the world.  
  
"So..." said Jimmy as the TV flickered on, "It's that time again. Vote for the next person to win an all-expense paid trip to the Void. It's democracy time!" A Poyozo passed out the ballots, everyone voted, and the Poyozo read the results.  
  
"Robo. Alfador. Robo. Magus. Alfador. Marle. Frog. Robo. Alfador."  
  
"It looks there was a tie!" said Jimmy. "Well, it looks like..."  
  
"Nobody gets sent to the Void?" suggested Marle.  
  
"And let that immunity contest I designed go to waste? You're a loony!"  
  
"Both of them get sent to the Void?" suggested a Poyozo.  
  
"And shorten the life of my series by three episodes? You're a loony! OK, here's the solution. Everyone vote again, but only this time for Robo or Alfador." The ballets were passed out again, everyone wrote down their new choices, and the results were read in a high pitched voice again.  
  
"Robo. Alfador. Robo. Alfador. Alfador. Robo. Robo. Robo. Alfador."  
  
"Well!" Jimmy laughed. "It looks like Robo is saying goodbye. Go ahead, have your last words."  
  
Lucca walked up to Robo. "Robo, I..."  
  
Robo stepped back. "No, Lucca, it is my time to leave. I am sure I will see you again someday."  
  
"Magus, Black Hole!" Magus spread his arms wide and opened a gateway to the Void. Without saying another word, Robo stepped into the portal before it closed.  
  
That night, Jimmy looked over the rooms. Crono and Marle were certainly not doing anything interesting. Lucca and Magus argued over what went wrong, while Schala and Frog discussed the Nu and his worth to the house. Alfador slept blissfully, while Nu plotted to use the Frog King's army for the first strike against the Kiwala Legion's home base. 


	17. Day 16: Plot Development Strikes Again

Marle led Crono by the hand as the two of them walked down the stairs. "Come on!" urged Marle. "It'll be fun!" Crono mumbled something, but Marle stopped him. "I know it's early, but it'll be worth it."  
  
The two walked into the dark kitchen, and Marle sat down on the edge of the table. "Okay, let me explain. Lucca's been feeling down ever since Robo got voted off last night. Well... that was kind of our fault, because we voted him off." Crono nodded. "I think we need to try to do something to cheer her up."  
  
Crono yawned, and asked why it had to involve getting up before sunrise.  
  
"We're going to fix Lucca and everyone else a great breakfast to cheer them all up. Great idea, huh?"  
  
Soon after, the Great Breakfast Plot was underway. Using the wealth of ingredients that mysteriously appeared in the refrigerator, Crono and Marle began preparing the meal. Crono added packages of Porrean spices to the Power Roasts before he began cooking them. Marle filled bowls full of Refresh Salad and poured a pitcher of Sweet Water into a punch bowl.  
  
While the roast cooked, Crono and Marle stared longingly into each others' eyes, in a manner so sickeningly sweet that it could cause illness in casual observers. When the roasts were finally done, the couple set the table then went back up to their room to wait until time for breakfast.  
  
Finally, everyone woke up and headed down the stairs for breakfast. As they filed into the kitchen, a surprise awaited them. Spread out across the table was a meal, nay, a banquet. Steaming Power Roasts and huge bowls of Refresh Salad awaited the diners. In the middle of the table sat a bowl full of Sweet Water sitting in the middle of the table.  
  
"Who did this?" asked Schala as she smelled the delicious meal.  
  
"Crono and I did," said Marle, smiling. "We figured everyone needed a bit of cheering up."  
  
"'Tis a hearty feast," said Frog as she took a seat. "Let us begin!"  
  
Magus sat down at his usual spot. That's when a noticed something... unusual. Instead of Power Roast sitting on his plate, there lay Alfador curled up asleep on his plate.  
  
"Whose idea..." Magus stood up. "Okay, what kind of a joke is this?" Crono and Marle looked at each other. This wasn't supposed to happen... "Marle? I suppose this is a part of your plan to cheer me up. So, explain this."  
  
Suddenly, a joke popped into Nu's head. It was another one of those preprogrammed lines. The voice in his head commanded him to tell the joke. It wasn't very funny, but if he didn't tell it his world domination scheme would result in certain failure. "Yummy cat! For Magus eat!" said Nu in an Ayla-ish voice.  
  
Magus imagined Dark Mattering the punch bowl into a thousand glass shards, but that would be pointless. Revenge was one thing, but wasting a perfectly good meal was another. He would get with Lucca and play a joke on Crono, Marle, and the Nu. It sounded childish even in his head, but having spent two hours yesterday chasing frogs in the woods that somehow didn't seem relevant anymore.  
  
Marle gave Magus the roast that was supposed to be for Alfador. Despite the rocky start, the breakfast went very well. Afterwards, Marle and Crono washed off the dishes and put the leftover half-bowl of punch in the refrigerator. Even Magus seemed in a better mood after eating his Power Roast.  
  
Magus saw Lucca sitting on the couch in the living room, reading a book. If he was going to pull of a joke, he needed someone with a better sense of humor like Lucca. "Lucca," he said, tapping her on the shoulder, "I need to talk with you. Alone."  
  
"A joke?" said Lucca as she lay down on her bed. "Since when did you get a sense of humor?" Magus didn't say anything, so Lucca went on talking. "So what type of joke are we talking about?"  
  
"Hmm..." Magus put his hand on his chin. "I have an idea. Revenge is the greatest joke of all. I just need your help on the specifics. And if I can get Schala and Frog to cooperate..."  
  
Magus relayed his plan to Lucca.  
  
"This house tryth my will greatly," said Frog as he stepped outside.  
  
"I know what you mean," said Schala as she followed him and shut the door.  
  
"Constant fighting and rivalries, 'tis enough to make one ill." Frog hung his head. "If there be way to end these petty feuds..."  
  
Schala pondered for a moment. "If I ever think of anything, I will let you know."  
  
Back in Magus and Lucca's room, planning continued. "So," said Magus, "you are planning on embarrassing them with what dare?"  
  
"A kiss," said Lucca.  
  
"A kiss? Surely you can do better than that," said Magus.  
  
"It is embarrassing," said Lucca defensively. "You've never kissed anyone before. Wouldn't you be embarrassed if you had to kiss, say, me in front of everyone?"  
  
"No."  
  
Lucca laughed. "Okay, let's see Magus the Great's nerves of steel." She sat crossed-legged on her bed. "Kiss me," said Lucca arrogantly. "Let's see if you're embarrassed."  
  
Magus threw his cape back. Ha! This was nothing! He was Magus, the feared King of the Mystics. He was Janus, legendary sorcerer and an heir to the throne of Zeal. He helped vanquish Lavos and personally rid this mortal coil of Ozzie. So, why was he shaking?  
  
Magus gathered his wits and moved toward the purple-haired girl with the oversized glasses in front of him. Just as he readied himself to kiss her and his face was mere inches from Lucca's, he froze. He shook his head slightly; his pride was on the line.  
  
Now or never... Magus quickly moved in. His lips touched Lucca's, and the two kissed.  
  
Lucca fell back on the bed, her face bright red and a huge smile on her face. "Well... I guess... I lost..." she said incoherently as she smiled up at the ceiling.  
  
Magus's face was no less red than Lucca's. That was actually fairly... Ah, who was he kidding? That was great. It ranked right up there with sending Ozzie to the Void. The warlock sat down beside Lucca on the bed. "I win, I suppose."  
  
"Not so fast," said Lucca still smiling as she looked up at Magus. "We're alone. Nobody was watching."  
  
"No, I'm fairly sure the Entity was watching us. I still win."  
  
Meanwhile, in Jimmy's room... "Wahoo! Hot Lucca/Magus action! Score!" He spun around in his computer chair, then jumped out of his seat. Jimmy pulled a special bottle of soda out of his fridge. This wasn't just any soda, the sugar and caffeine content were so high this soda was illegal in Choras and Medina. He unscrewed the top and chugged the carbonated beverage.  
  
Later, everyone sat around the table at lunch. After a nice meal, Marle stood up with a new idea to spread happiness. "Please, no," said Magus under his breath as Marle began making her little announcement.  
  
"Well, I'd like to say first off that this is good news," said Marle as she stood smiling. "This isn't another one of my games. While Crono and I were searching through the empty storage room, we found this." Marle held up a shining jewel with Jimmy's face set inside it.  
  
Suddenly, the television clicked on and Jimmy appeared. "Ah? So you found the hidden item? You've completed the subquest. Your reward is that I will instantly grant the deepest desire of one of your hearts." Jimmy closed his eyes for a second, then opened them again. "OK, there. That was fun."  
  
"Wait!" said Schala. "Whose wish was granted? And what was it?"  
  
"Ah. But if I told you, that would be cheating."  
  
One hundred and ninety-nine years later, something occurred at a place that would have been called Death Peak. However, in the new future unspoiled by Lavos, this mountain was known as Happy Fun Times Peak and was a beautiful paradise. A family on vacation, a couple with their young child, set up a picnic at the summit of the mountain.  
  
The boy looked up at the sky. "Look, mommy! A black hole!" There was indeed a strange black portal in the sky. From the portal emerged the figure of a person, silhouetted against the bright sun. The figure descended from the sky, and all three of them watched in astonishment as the person landed smoothly on top of the table cloth.  
  
"My sandwich got smushed!" cried the child. "I hate Happy Fun Times Peak! This is the worst vacation ever!"  
  
Back in 2101 A.D., Lucca sighed. "Well, that was a let down. Anyway, I have an idea or two for passing the time." Magus looked at Lucca, but she shook her head. This was not the time for getting revenge, so soon when Marle and Crono would expect it. "How about we play some cards?" she suggested, producing a deck from her pocket.  
  
While Schala played dealer for a game of blackjack, Lucca led Crono off to another corner of the living room where she played a poker game against him. After chatting with him for a while, she finally asked him about the incident at breakfast. Crono kept insisting he and Marle left the roasts to cool and he knew nothing else. Of course, Alfador eating the roast made more sense than Crono and Marle intentionally trying to anger an arcane sorcerer that could destroy them with the wave of a finger.  
  
After the blackjack game, Schala found Magus in his room reading some book about magic. "Janus? Are you okay, Janus?" asked Schala as she walked in.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I talked with Marle. I know you want to get back at Crono and Marle. So what are you going to do?"" she asked.  
  
"Nothing. It most likely wasn't their fault."  
  
"I'm glad to hear you say that," said Schala. "It's nice to see you forgiving someone for once. So... how are you and Lucca making out?"  
  
Apparently, she just had to phrase it like that. Magus saw no reason to lie to his sister, though. "Very well, actually. We've gotten a bit... closer."  
  
"How much closer?" asked Schala with a smile.  
  
"If you must know..." Magus related the story of the kiss to Schala, who listened patiently to her little brother. Why did he take up her challenge in the first place?  
  
"I'm glad to see you're found someone," Schala said.  
  
The time after supper was no more eventful. Magus played fetch with Alfador while Crono and Marle snuggled on the couch. Lucca and Schala talked for a while, mostly about who to vote off and what the next day's challenge would be. Frog polished the Masamune. Having had so much spare time to polish the great blade, the Masamune was no only the most powerful and most valuable, but also the shiniest sword of all time.  
  
Finally, as sunset came, the housemates headed up to their rooms. Frog walked into his room, and saw a note for him taped on his pillow. He picked it up and read it.  
  
"What sayth this? Hmm... 'Dear Frog, For some hot princess-on-frog action, meet me by the volcano tonight. Love, Schala.' " Frog stared at the note for a while. This seemed very out-of-character for Schala. Why would she write something like this? Whatever the reason, Frog decided to meet Schala out by the volcano to see what was going on.  
  
The sun was already low on the horizon when Frog finally reached the volcano. Hoping the trek had not been for naught, he searched for the purple-robed woman. Frog circled the volcano twice looking for her. Finally, he found another note, in the same handwriting, taped onto a large rock. Frog tore it off.  
  
"Dear Frog, You idiot, you fell for it! Mwee hee hee hoo hoo. Thou art dumb. Love, Alfador. PS: Humans are stupid. PPS: Frogs are even stupider."  
  
Frog took the note as evidence. Some fools was trying to get Alfador voted off by impersonating him. The only suspects Frog could think of as he made his way back to the house were the Nu (who seemed to dislike Alfador) and the Entity (because he liked to mess with people's minds.)  
  
As night fell, everyone got ready for bed. Crono and Marle hugged each other rather tightly before settling down to sleep. Jimmy watched the two. They didn't look they would be getting any more intimate very soon, but Jimmy didn't care. He had the Lucca/Magus this going on; it didn't matter to him at this point if Crono and Marle took vows of chastity.  
  
Magus got ready to turn the light off, but then he paused. Lucca lay in her bed awake staring up at the ceiling.  
  
"Can't sleep?" asked Magus.  
  
"No." Lucca stretched out.  
  
"Just lull yourself to sleep thinking about me," said Magus as he reached for the light again.  
  
"Such a humble wizard Magus is," said Lucca as she yawned.  
  
"This is coming from the person calling herself Lucca the Great."  
  
Frog told Schala about the note. Horrified, Schala looked at the notes. She would never proposition Frog like that. She cared about him, and to play with his emotions like that...  
  
"I am sorry that all this happened," said Schala. "I hope you knew this was not me the entire time."  
  
"Aye." Frog nodded his head. "I suspected it, at least. But who is the true culprit?"  
  
Nu was asleep. Normally, he would be up plotting, but now it would be fruitless. The time of reckoning drew near, and he needed his rest to prepare.  
  
Jimmy looked at his website. He had done some strange things, but tomorrow's event would have to be the most unique yet. He said that many times, but this time he meant it. This was the type of idea only caffeine-induced insanity and crass commercialism could produce. He finished off a bottle of soda as he made the final plans. 


	18. Day 17: Fanfare

Schala awoke early of the morning. Yes, yet another challenge awaited them. Perhaps it could be something exciting, like the chocobo race. As unlikely as it was, she could always hope, thought Schala as she made her bed.  
  
After breakfast, the TV came on right on schedule. "Ah, good morning. I would normally announce today's challenge at this time, but today I have a special event planned. I'll get to the challenge later."  
  
"You see, I've been broadcasting this experiment to a number of individuals via computer and television. Recently, I held a contest among the fans of this experiment, and the prize was to visit all of you. Let me introduce the winners..."  
  
"Melissa!" The front door opened, and in stepped a thin blonde-haired girl wearing a pink t-shirt and a skirt. She waved at the housemates as she walked in with a huge smile on her face.  
  
"Erin!" From the door came another teenager, this time a girl with long brown hair wearing a white shirt with KoN written on the front. She twirled her hair as she stood beside Melissa.  
  
"Mark!" In walked a teenage boy with black hair, glasses, and a white shirt. Eyeing the housemates, he stood beside Erin.  
  
"Sean!" Last inside was a red-haired boy dressed in all black. He slowly looked around as he took his place beside Mark.  
  
"These four are going to be visiting you for today. I'll give you all a few minutes to get acquainted."  
  
Magus began to walk forward when suddenly a pink blur rushed toward him. Before he could react, the fangirl Melissa was latched onto him. The wizard instinctively reached for his scythe to decapitate the enemy, only to realize he left it in his room. He didn't want to unleash his dark magic on her, but that seemed a more reasonable course of action every second Melissa had her arms wrapped around him.  
  
"I love Magus!" squealed Melissa. "He's so kawaii!"  
  
"Whatever kawaii means, I'm sure it doesn't describe me," said Magus as his pink-clad attacker held herself close to him. "Lucca, could you take care of this?" Lucca, nodded, and pryed the two apart using a wrench she had with her. She took Melissa aside, and explained why it's a very, very bad idea to annoy a wizard that could annihilate her in the blink of an eye even if he is cute.  
  
Marle snapped her head around as she noticed an arm around her shoulder. Staring the fanboy in the face, she took his arm and removed it from her neck. "What do you think you're doing?" Marle yelled as she pulled out her crossbow and aimed it as Mark's head.  
  
"Hey, sorry Marle!" said Mark as he raised his hands into the air.   
  
Erin walked over to the Nu. "Actually," she said, running her fingers' through its hair, "I think the Nu's kinda sexy."  
  
"Nu are asexual creatures," said the Nu.  
  
Meanwhile, Sean started a conversation with Magus. "You know, you've always been my favorite. That cape's cool, and you've got the evil thing going on. That rocks. So... think you could hook me up with your sister?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You sure? I'd really appreciate it."  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay... I've got 500G on me. I'll give you all of it for one date with Schala."  
  
Magus looked at Sean the fanboy with piercing eyes. "Do you realize what you're asking?"  
  
"Forget you. I'll just offer her the money." Sean turned around to see a quite angry looking Schala with crossed arms beside an equally angry looking Frog.  
  
"Ah, so thou thinkth of Schala as a harlot?" Frog accused as Sean backed away.  
  
The television flashed back on. "Ah, good to see everyone getting along with their new friends. It's time for your challenge. Unlike previous challenges, this is a team challenge. The housemates will be one team, and they will compete against the four guests. The members of the winning team each get one thing they desire from the other team."  
  
Marle, Lucca, and Schala looked uneasily at Mark and Sean as they smiled. The lovesick stares of Melissa and Erin didn't exactly make Crono and Magus feel better. For some reason, they didn't want to give the other team what they desired.  
  
"There will be five contests. The first team to win three contests will be declared victorious. We will now begin the first contest: tug-of-war!"  
  
In retrospect, that wasn't such a good contest. Pitting four normal teenagers against people who had fought countless monsters and defeated Lavos wasn't exactly fair. The next contest was much better: a one-on-one archery competition, with Marle excluded.  
  
Crono and Sean stepped up the line, facing the Ozzie-shaped targets and the red dots in the center. The red-haired archers glanced at each other once, then lined up the arrow with the target. With a whoosh, the arrows shot toward the targets. Crono's arrow managed to hit somewhere in the top half of the circle, while Sean's lucky shot hit just to the left of the center.  
  
"All tied up! Exciting, eh? How about a little game of chess?" Fifteen turns into the game, Lucca had Erin in checkmate.  
  
"Well," Jimmy glanced through his room, trying to think what the last game was. Unfortunately for the contestants, the first thing he saw was a manga comic lying open. "A wet t-shirt contest."  
  
All the girls started shaking their heads. "Ah, quit whining. Erin, Marle, step forward."  
  
The two unfortunate white-clad girls stepped forward. Suddenly, Erin's love of Nu-logic paid in saving her modesty. "Oh, it looks like Marle isn't wearing a t-shirt. I win by default. No need to even have the contest."  
  
Jimmy opened his mouth to say something, but that was some good logic she used. Defeated, he came up with the last contest. "Mark and Magus will now face each other in a battle of wits. I will pose and a question, and you must give an answer and defend it. Your question is... In a battle between the Rainbow sword and the Magus's Reaper, which would win? You have two minutes to think."  
  
Magus sat down and began trying to think of how Nu would answer. The Entity was insane, and an ancient and proven was to use the enemy's weapon against him.  
  
"My answer is the Rainbow," said Mark. "It's a legendary sword made by a legendary craftsman from a legendary shell and a legendary stone. The Reaper's a farming tool."  
  
Magus stood up. "Neither would win, because both are inanimate objects and incapable of moving on their own."  
  
"Magus wins," said Jimmy, sick of Nu logic for the time being. "The housemates each get something from one of the visitors."  
  
"Hey, this is lame!" yelled Mark. "Wait a second, I don't own anything they'd want. Heh heh."  
  
Crono stepped forward first, and asked if anyone had anything sweet. After telling Melissa and Erin that they themselves didn't count, Melissa dug a few lollipops out of her purse and handed them to Crono. It'd been since the soda guzzling contest that he had a sugar rush, and he felt he deserved it.  
  
Marle demanded an apology from Mark for putting his arm around her, and Frog made Sean apologize to Schala. Magus took Melissa's silver Magus necklace, which he thought look quite good on him. The contestants failed to have any monster cards, so Lucca took a handful of hard candy Erin had with her. Alfador didn't want anything except left alone, which Melissa found out when she tried to pet him.  
  
Schala pondered. "Do you any of you have anything I would want?"  
  
Sean pulled a rolled-up sheet of paper out of his pocket. "I drew some fanart of you," He unfurled the paper slowly for Schala to see.  
  
"Why is her hair blond?" asked Marle, looking at the full-color drawing.  
  
"It's artistic license," defended Sean.  
  
"And why am I naked?" asked Schala.  
  
"Umm.... umm..." Blushing, Sean handed Schala the paper.  
  
Nu saw this as a golden opportunity. He pointed at Erin. "I want you." He took the fangirl aside to talk to her.  
  
"Wow, I'm flattered, but I though you said Nu were well, you know..."  
  
"I want you to join the Knights of Nu. Just sign here..."  
  
"Wow! I get to be an official Knight and everything? Wow! I already have this honorary Knights of Nu shirt, but I never thought..." She put her signature on the page and Nu took the paper back. Ah, it was nice to have fans.  
  
"Why don't you give everyone a little tour?" asked Jimmy before signing off. Frog decided this was a good idea, as it could kill some time that would otherwise be spent being annoyed by their guests.  
  
"The room we occupy is known as the living room," said Frog as he gestured around the room. "Here, we pass our time when we hath not a challenge from the Entity." Frog led the guests forward to the kitchen. "Here, we have our meals." He started toward the stairs when Mark interrupted him.  
  
"Did you always have the weird accent, or did you get it when you got whuped by Magus and turned into a frog?"  
  
"Neither. 'Tis an interesting tale of how I came by this manner..."  
  
"Do you think if you Magus turned you into a newt or something, you might talk like a rich old guy?"  
  
"No."  
  
"How about a turtle? You'd be a turtle with a sword fighting evil! How wacky's that?"  
  
Frog was quickly becoming annoyed with Mark. "Yes, 'twould be a quite wacky thing. I believe this tour is not as enjoyable as I hoped..."  
  
Morning came and went, with Crono, Marle, Schala, and Magus having to tolerate their fans, because incapacitating people the Entity considered friends would not be wise. Lunch consisted of spicy Power Stew prepared by Magus, though he wasn't looking forward to Melissa "repaying" him for the nice meal, as she promised (or threatened) to do.  
  
Finally, just a little into the afternoon, Marle couldn't take it anymore. All day, Mark had been staring at her. It was almost flattering at first, but now it was just creepy. "Lucca!" she pleaded with her friend, "you've got to help me!"  
  
Lucca called Schala over and began concocting a plan. "Now, I'm sure none of us want a fanboy like him around. I myself have some experience on the Internet. I know the ways of the fanboy, and I know how to defeat him. This may not be the most orthodox plan, but it will be effective. Now..."  
  
Mark almost jumped when Marle took him by the arm and told him she wanted to see him in her bedroom. His eyes stayed wide open as Marle led him into her room, where Lucca and Schala sat on a bed, grinning at him.  
  
All at once, the three walked up to him, and kissed him simultaneously on the forehead. Mark's eyes glazed over, and he fell to the floor. Lucca took his pulse. He was in shock, but he would live.  
  
"Ugh," said Marle. "I didn't enjoy that."  
  
"Me either," said Lucca. "But Ayla did the same thing with those Kiss and Charm techniques she had."  
  
"She also ran around mostly naked," said Schala as she dragged Mark's unconscious body into the hall.  
  
When everyone, sans the unconscious Mark, was back in the living room, Jimmy's face appeared on the screen. "Ah, I see you guests are enjoying spending time with everyone. However, all good things must come to an end. As an added unannounced bonus, one of you will get to stay the night here.  
  
The housemates hid their groans as Melissa, Erin, and Sean cheered.  
  
"For a twist, the housemates get to choose which one of you stays. Tell me when you've made your choice. Ta-ta!"  
  
"So how do we choose?" asked Marle.  
  
"Wait a second, this is our chance," Lucca said with a smile.  
  
"For what?" wondered Frog.  
  
"A challenge. After all the Entity's dished out on us, you bet we're going to be returning the favor."  
  
"Please excuse us." Magus bowed to the guests. "We'll be outside for a while, please be patient."  
  
Fifteen minutes later, the three were asked to come outside. An obstacle course, complete with pitfalls and spikes that shot out of the ground for no reason. "This is just part of the experience of being us. The first person through the course gets to say, and the others... they get sacked."  
  
It actually was entertaining, watching the three scramble through. Sean was probably the strongest of the three, that gave him an edge in the monkey bars, but the girls made up by being faster in the sprinting sections. It looked like Sean would have won, but in the last leg of the race he stumbled and fell into Melissa, giving Erin the victory.  
  
"Are you okay?" asked Marle as she got ready to heal the both of the them.  
  
"What do you think?" said Sean. "I'm pinned to the ground and I have a girl lying... Actually, I'm doing pretty good."  
  
"We have chosen, Entity," said Marle. "We choose Erin." Sean and Melissa waved goodbye as they walked through the Gate home. Erin jumped up and down, happy she was getting to stay the night.  
  
Evening passed slowly, but it did pass. Erin managed to hold a few decent conversations with Lucca and Schala about what it was like living in dome for over two weeks now. Erin joined in a few of the card game later on, and by the end of the day progressed to a level of acceptance beyond even that of Tata and Ozzie: not annoying.  
  
As the group prepared for bed, Magus led Erin up the stairs and began laying down a few rules. "This is Crono's room, this is my room, and this is Frog's room. You are not to enter them at any point during the night. This is the bathroom. If at any time you attempt to "accidentally" walk in on any of us, you will have to deal with the security system Lucca installed made from recycled and upgraded Ozzie traps."  
  
Erin gulped as Magus continued.  
  
"This is Nu's room. For the sake of your sanity, stay out of there. This is Alfador's room , where you will sleep tonight. If you at any time try to enter any of the bedrooms, an alarm will sound and Alfador will attack."  
  
"Wasn't this a bit much just so I wouldn't try to sneak into your bedrooms?"  
  
"Most likely. But Lucca had fun doing this."  
  
Crono and Marle sat down beside each other. This was a long day. They both were exhausted mentally from dealing with the crazed fans. Crono felt like they deserved some kind of reward for all this.  
  
"Are you okay?" the spiky-haired boy asked Marle.  
  
"Just tired. We had to put up with those idiots. They're as bad as Tata in their own way. Don't we get anything for putting up with this?"  
  
Crono slowly wrapped his arms around Marle, then gave her a tight hug. "We still have each other."  
  
Marle rubbed Crono's nose playfully. "Aw, you're so sweet. Let me give you something for that. Close your eyes..." Marle wrapped her arms around Crono, and their lips met under the moonlight shining in from the window.  
  
"We have achieved maximum fluff," said Jimmy as he watched on the monitor, looking slightly sick. "I deserved some type of award for this," he mused as he pushed his box of sugar-coated chocolate back. The only thing that could possibly make this any more romantic was... Ah, why not?  
  
"Look!" exclaimed Marle and they pulled away, pointing out the window. "A shooting star! That must mean..."  
  
"We're meant for each other," finished Crono, holding her hand tightly. "That or it's another Lavos."  
  
Well, that killed the mood. "Nah, I'm pretty such it's the destined one," said Marle slowly. "I'm going to bed."  
  
Lucca sat in the chair as she recounted how her ingenious plan defeated Mark. The whole time, Magus smiled that sadistic smile of his that he did instead of laugh.  
  
"A kiss? You defeated him with a kiss?"  
  
"Hey, it was three kisses. Simultaneous. A kiss from Lucca the Great was more than enough to knock him out."  
  
"Magus thinks Lucca is a bit arrogant."  
  
Hmph. Well, she'd just have to show him. She walked over to Magus, bent over, and gave him a kiss on the forehead.  
  
"Well?" Lucca asked playfully.  
  
Magus's face had taken on a bit of a red tint. "If I was 14, that may have worked. It'll take more than that to paralyze me."  
  
"Oh, now you're just asking for it." Lucca sat on Magus's lap and gave him a kiss on each cheek. "That better?"  
  
Frog and Schala sat together at their table, looking over Sean's fanart of Schala. Frog put his hand on his chin. "'Tis quite well drawn."  
  
"Except for my face, it isn't even close to accurate," said Schala.  
  
"What doest thou expect? Thy robes leave much to the imagination."  
  
Schala folded the artwork and stood up. "I'm going to go take a shower. If you wish to compare the drawing to real life, by all means come with me." Frog laughed as Schala left the room and he settled into bed.  
  
Nu decided to recheck all his plans one last time. He mentally checked the calculation... Then to this horror, he saw his original calculation was made inaccurate by the fact that he forgot to carry the two. He had to recalibrate all his plans accordingly, as well as compensate for the addition of Erin to his forces. In an strange twist of fate, the correct calculation showed Alfador was just a common housecat and was in no way standing in his way of world domination.  
  
Jimmy smiled. For once, everything was going right. Fan day was a success, people were seducing each other on their own, and he had a cold carbonated beverage. All was right with the world. 


	19. Day 18: Revolution

That morning, everything actually started out well. Lucca whipped up a breakfast of Hyper Sandwiches (an ingenious combination of Refresh Bread and Power Roast, if she did say so herself) and everyone, including the guest Erin, sat down at the table to eat, free of any disturbances. For a fangirl, Erin was pretty cool.  
  
After breakfast, Jimmy announced it was time for the guest to depart. "I'll miss you!" Erin called as she stepped into the Gate back home. They would all miss her... kind of. Not enough to waste time thinking about it, but they would miss her.  
  
Lucca sat at her desk, looking over her books. As she pulled out a nice thick volume on theoretical physics, Nu strolled into the room. What could he possibly want?  
  
"May I borrow your computer for a while?"  
  
"Be my guest. I'm going to read downstairs."  
  
Nu stood in front of the computer. Now was the moment of truth. No further obstacles stood in his way. It was time to execute the plan he had been plotting so long. He accessed the e-mail and sent out message to all his allies: "Move!"  
  
And so it was that the armies of Nu gathered in the forests north of Porre Dome. Among them were the Frog King and his army of frogs, Sir Krawlie and his army of frogs, Johnny and his four-strong army of robots, Noisten Bekkler and his army of Vicks, Wedge, and Piette, all five of his fans from the show, and a Kiwala. This Army of Nu would truly be spectacular.  
  
"Now," Nu commanded his troops, "it's time to sack our first target. Due north!"  
  
And it came to pass that the Army of Nu sacked the empty cabin in the Porrean wilderness. The frogs absconded with all the fishing equipment they could carry, then Nu ordered that the cabin be demolished "as an example." Of course, the trebuchets attracted the attention of both Guardia Central Command and Medina's military. In the shadow of Mount Denadoro, there amassed a Last Alliance of Men and Mystics to stand against this mysterious foe's forces.  
  
As the television flickered on in the living room, Lucca braced herself for the challenge. However, Jimmy said something totally unexpected. "Well, something quite unexpected has happened. The army of a mysterious foe trying to conquer the world has just appeared north of Porre."  
  
As everyone looked at the screen, Frog readied himself and the Masamune for battle. "Entity! Should not all of us partake in this battle?"  
  
"Maybe." Jimmy took a sip of soda. "The enemy army outnumbers the humans and Mystics three-to-one. However, the humans and Mystics are on average twelve times more powerful than the enemy soldiers, so the odds are really four-to-one in favor of the humans. I already gave the humans a little bonus, so sit back and watch."  
  
"How can we sit by while everyone else fights for the sake of the world?!" asked Marle indignantly.  
  
"Just... watch. It's not hard." said the Entity as he sat back to watch the battle himself.  
  
At the front of the army stood five characters. The Mystic's generals Ozzie XXXII, Jagger, and Axl stood ready to battle. Two humans stood with them, one clad in purple and sliver full plate mail from medieval times, while another stood wearing a suit of robotic battle armor. The Guardian commanders called them champions from the past.  
  
Nu order a charge, and Sir Krawlie's army of warrior frogs charged Ozzie XXII's imp division. The two commanders locked in a vicious battle while the imps wasted the frogs with rocks and sticks.   
  
The Frog King himself attacked the medieval-armored knight (who looked strangely familiar to Frog.) The King began by firing a laser at the knight, who dodged out of the way as quickly as his heavy armor would allow. The knight swung with the flat of his blade and smacked the laser from the hand of the Frog King.  
  
The Frog King took his spear and attempted to impale his opponent in the head. The point aimed at the knight's forehead, but instead the tip of the spear became hung on the strangely-made visor. The amphibian combatant jerked the spear the other direction, taking with the helmet, revealing...  
  
"Cyrus!" exclaimed Frog. "Sir Cyrus!"  
  
"He lives? Impossible," Magus thought out loud even as he saw the man on the screen.  
  
"Gack! Cyrus?" The Frog King hopped back. "You're dead!  
  
"I was," said Sir Cyrus as he shook his brown-haired head. "But I got better. Prepare yourself... Nirvana Strike!" Cyrus jabbed the red short sword into his opponent's stomach three times faster than the eye could see, then finished by grabbing the spear from the Frog King's hands and snapping it in two.   
  
"We're getting mowed down here," Johnny said smoothly to Nu over the radio. "We have Lode Shields. Can't we use them?"  
  
"No! We cannot use them unless the Queen says it's okay! Attack!"  
  
In retrospect, a head-on charge was a bad idea. The frog army was decimated when they ran into humans with laser cannons on the front, and when they tried to escape their retreat was cut off by Roly Rider cavalry. After Sir Krawlie fell, Johnny and his robots were captured by the Mystics, while Noisten Bekkler gave himself up without a fight. All in all, Nu's army was totally defeated.  
  
The housemates watched as the battlefield disappeared and Jimmy's face returned. "Well, that was a nice movie, wasn't it? I'll be back in a few minutes with the challenge."  
  
A few minutes later, the Nu was downstairs, and Jimmy began his description of the challenge. "Now, I know all of you can fight, but this contest is the for those who can look good doing it. Your challenge is to come up with a battle taunt, and the winner gets immunity."  
  
"To assist me in my judging I have three impartial referees." Jimmy indicated the three people sitting a table behind him. The first was obviously Dalton, dressed in his trademark orange cape. The second was a tall man dressed in black, with long white hair than reminded one of Magus. The third wore a suit of silver armor along with a horned helmet and a purple cape.. "You have one minute to prepare, starting now."  
  
Crono was first up. He lifted the sword into the air. "YAAAA!!!" The judges looked at each other, then held up a four, a six, and a five.  
  
Crono sat down, and Marle stood up in his place. She cocked her crossbow, then sighted the TV screen. "That's it! You're gonna pay!" The judges sighed, then gave her a five, a five, and a three.  
  
Lucca was up next. She aimed her gun at the screen. "When I'm done, someone's gonna have to defragment YOU!" The judges stared off into space and scratched their heads for a moment, then gave her the scores of five, six, and eight.  
  
Frog went up next. He lifted the Masamune high and yelled his taunt. "Villain! I shall bury my steel in thine heart!" The second judge nodded, and he was given scores of five, eight, and six.  
  
Schala stood up next. She never was very good at this... Well, what would her mother say? "You oppose me, weakling? I will show you the meaning of pain!" She was impressed with her own scores of seven, seven, and six.  
  
Magus made up a good line one that he never got to use. How did it go again... "If the world is to be destroyed, so be it! If it is my fate to perish, I must simply laugh!" He was rather disappointed in only getting a seven, an eight, and a six.  
  
Alfador walked in front of the TV. "Meow." He got a zero, a negative one, and a two.  
  
Nu was the last one up. It's best to sound mysterious with one's threats... "I, Nu, will finish off your life." The first two judges burst out laughing, and he got the scores of two, two, and ten.  
  
Jimmy walked back on screen. "With an average score of seven, Magus wins immunity. Voting's going to be around five. Adios, amigos!"  
  
The old alliance met in Magus's room, and Frog, Magus, Lucca, and Schala all decided that Nu still needed to be voted off. They already had half the votes just in this alliance, so the four of them voting together were sure to get rid of Nu, so unless the other four all voted for the person, Nu was on his way out.  
  
Finally, voting time came, and one again they were instructed to vote for anyone besides Magus and turn in their ballots. A Poyozo collected the ballots, and read them all off in the same annoying voice it always used.  
  
"Nu. Nu. Nu. Nu. Nu. Frog. Nu. Schala."  
  
"Well, it looks like bye-bye Nu. Any last words?"  
  
"I enjoyed being part of all your zany antics and wacky hijinx. Well, I guess it's time to shove off."  
  
"Magus, Black Hole!"  
  
Magus spread his arms wide and the hole in space-time appeared in front of the Nu. "Wait, what is this?" said the Nu as the portal pulled him in. "I feel it! The infinite power of the Void..." The Nu's voice trailed off as the Black Hole closed.  
  
"He's finally gone," said Schala.  
  
"This calls for something," Marle said with a smile.  
  
"Another party?" asked Magus.  
  
"Aye," said Frog. "Let us celebrate!"  
  
"Excuse me," said Jimmy. "I have a guest I'd like you all to meet..."  
  
"Please no," Marle pleaded, but before she could say anything else, the front door swung open. Standing there was Spekkio, the Master of War.  
  
"Ah, hello," said the giant blue creature. "Mind if I come in?"  
  
"Well, he's a different story," said Magus. "Come on in, Spekkio."  
  
In a puff of smoke, Spekkio appeared inside. "Well, I haven't see this pretty lady before," he said, looking at Schala. "That's some Shadow magic she's got! She could probably wipe the floor with me if I'm not careful."  
  
Schala giggled. "Well, are we here to fight or party?"  
  
"Party," said Spekkio. "Here, you all can have this. It's the Spekkio SHINDIG Set!" Spekkio waved arms, and a whole load of sodas appeared in front of him.  
  
The party quickly became one sugar and caffeine-fueled insane bash. Frog told a joke about a number of people from Choras changing a lightbulb which caused Lucca and Crono to laugh maniacally. Magus decided to use some of Ozzie's old figurines of himself as target practice for Dark Bombs. Schala and Marle decided the Alfador Toss sounded like a fun game, and fortunately for Alfador cats usually land on their feet.  
  
Around midnight, the sodas were long gone and the sugar buzzes began to go as well. Crono and Marle fell asleep in each others arms on the couch, and the two looked so sweet and innocent cuddled up together. It looked so cute, in fact, that Lucca couldn't resist putting the two into a more compromising (and horizontal) position. The four still up weren't feeling too fresh themselves, so they bid farewell to Spekkio (who turned out to be a killer breakdancer) and plodded upstairs to their beds where they quickly drifted off to sleep.  
  
Jimmy was pleased. Today didn't bring in much romance aside from a little fluff, but that battle scene was amazing. Already Nu's attempted takeover was being called the biggest battle since The Big One. Anyway, after sitting back a while, it was time to get back to work. With the Nu gone, he couldn't depend on chaos to just happen anymore.  
  
(Author's Note: Well, Nu's gone, at least for now. He was fun to write, and I felt he should go out with bang. Anyway, not much romance this chapter. Any advice, comments, criticism in a review would be appreciated. By the way, 100 reviews! Thanks everyone.) 


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